Skip's Sentiments

An Offer!

2006-04-04T07:47:00.000-05:00

Well, nine months after we put the house on the market, we finally have an offer! The offer is a fairly low one... but it's an offer! Last night we made a counter-offer and they have until noon to respond. We are praying that this the right buyer and the right situation we have been praying for!

God has really been working on our hearts about materialism– an in particular regarding our next steps with a new house. It is so tempting to look at houses beyond your means and try to work out a way to "afford" it. Deanie and I both feel like this time we want to be really faithful with our finances– especially in selling and buying a new house. We feel God has kept us in this apartment situation to teach us about this very topic. And we think it is no coincedence that the one house we found here that we really liked, was big enough for the kids and was actually more affordable than any other house we've looked at here over the past nine months– came BACK on the market here. Yes, we saw it several months ago and thought it would be perfect and very affordable, but then it sold. Well, yesterday when we got the offer I hoped on line to see if there were any new houses in our price range and low and behold this house pops back up!

Is it a God thing? It sure feels like it...

Please be praying for us that we will follow God's lead in this and every matter.

Father, thank you for your love and faithfulness. Thank you for bringing a buyer to us yesterday– we ask your blessing on this situation. Father, make your will for us plain and obvious. Thank you for providing for us so beautifully. Amen.

Using my talents for God!

2006-03-28T11:11:00.000-06:00

I've mentioned previously that we retained a new Christian Ministiry as a client and that I was going to be able (for the first time) to use my creative talents for God. Well, now you have the opportunity to see and participate in my work-- that's right-- it's the new battlecry.com website!

Battle Cry is a ministry focused on reaching and saving this current generation of teens for Christ. Statistics demonstrate that if we continue on our current trend, in five years there will only be 4% of our teens claiming to be true followers of Christ. That is scary to me-- I hope it's scary to you, too! But, there is something you can do about it-- something that TOGETHER we can all do about it-- join the Battle Cry Coalition! The BCC is a national network of local chuches, youth groups, teens, parents and concerned adults who are working together locally and nationally to take back this generation for Christ.

The website, battlecry.com, is the umbrella or "meeting place" for all the individual members of the coalition to exchange ideas, encourage and even help hold one another accountable. After you register fot the Coalition, you can create your own personal "Battle Plan" detailing how you specifically entend to engage and be invovled.

Check it out-- and send the link to eveyone at your church and certainly to all your blog readers... Together we can save a generation!!

BTW-- I'm doing well! Family is also doing well. Please continue to keep the sell of our house in Illinios in your prayers-- we think we're close!!!!

Father, thank you for using me, my talents and position for your glory! Bless battlecry.com and the Battle Cry Coalition! Amen.

You call this winter?

2006-01-10T08:00:00.000-06:00

This morning actually feels like Winter-- really to be honest it feels like Fall. Not that I'm complaining mind you-- this is one of the key reasons we were so excited about moving to Texas-- Winters that feel more like Fall!

The grass is always greener isn't it, though? There have actually been moments where I missed the shocking cold-- you know when you open your front door and the cold air is so biting that it literally takes your breath away. Although, on New Year's Day when I took my dog out for a walk and I was wearing shorts, it was a sweet moment! I think I might have actually broke a sweat!

To be really honest, the only thing I really miss about Winter is wearing winter clothes. You all know black is my favorite color... and turtlenecks and sweaters are my weakness. So this morning when there was a slight chill in the air, I grabbed the opportunity to wear a sweater without feeling like a displaced Yankee. Yes, there have been other days when I wore appropriate winter clothing only to be walking next to someone at the mall or at the movies wearing shorts and flip-flops! I guess that will just take some getting used to!

On the home front-- we have a couple of buyers who are now interested in our house! One of them has looked at it three times, the other twice. Please pray that one (or both if you're feeling generous) of these people makes us a solid offer. It has now been seven months in the apartment and it's getting tight!!

Father, thank you for loving us in all seasons. Help us to find grace and peace in the moment-- each and every one. Amen.

God is working in Austin

2005-12-16T07:47:00.000-06:00

Well, it has not been the journey I was expecting-- and to complete the analogy: I didn't pack right for this trip. But it's been a great trip nonetheless!

The last seven months here in Austin have been a time of real growth for me. Still confident that God's hand was definitely in our coming here, but less sure everyday exactly why and for what purpose. And even less sure of why things have been so difficult for us here-- our house in Illinois still has not sold-- and has cost of several thousands of dollars to make repairs and updates. We had a real difficulty getting our kids accepted into a Christian school (there were very long waiting lists at all of them) and there have been some struggles with the school they did get into. Work has been especially trying-- I had no idea the level of adjustments I was going to have to make in order to have any success in my new job-- difficult doesn't begin to describe my work life. And home life has been challenging as well with the children sharing a bedroom and all of us sharing a bathroom-- the lack of privacy has really taken a toll on all of us.

But through it all, we have felt God's hand and presence. We have learned we can live with less. We have learned to depend on Him. And He has answered our prayers for a deep and rich church family relationship. Our new church here is definitely the bright spot in our new lives in Austin.

Now, I can see one more reason God brought me here-- yesterday our firm closed a significant deal with a Christian ministry to help them reach the youth of America. This will be the first time I have been able to use my advertising and communications skills directly for God's glory. And, it has brought together a very small group of Christians who were previously sort of "hidden" within the firm. Now, we are front and center with this new business win. Yesterday's meeting was my first true business meeting that opened and closed in prayer-- it was awesome!

So, God is working in Austin-- and I'm blessed that He is able to do small things through me!

Thank you Lord for your wisdom and timing... I know and trust that you hold me closely. Thank you for using me for your purposes. Bless this ministry and our work with them. Amen.

Normal

2005-09-13T08:14:00.000-05:00

Well, I can't honestly say things are beginning to feel completely normal-- but it's the closest it's been in a long time (PTL!).

We had a great weekend in New Braunfels going to Schlitterbaun (America's #1 Water Park) with the Deanie's sister and her kids. It was a blast and very relaxing. I spent about 3 hours in the "Lazy River" which isn't lazy at all-- it has huge three-foot waves! Grayson and I had a blast together, I know it will be a big "memory" day for our family. Later in the evening, Deanie's mom took us out to dinner. We had a great time together and laughed a lot!

Sunday was awesome! I got to sing on the praise team-- a different group than I usually sing with-- and it was an outstanding worship time. It was a cool and grey day and it made us think of Illinois! We went shopping for sweatshirts since we didn't pack any to bring with us down here! Sunday night both the kids had activities at church, so we went out for dinner with some of our new friends. It was very relaxing and we had a great time-- I believe these people could easily become our new best friends down here. It's been so hard to leave our close-knit group of friends in Illinois-- this was the first time I actually felt like we could be getting close to making the same kind of friendships again!

Yesterday, work went extremely well! We got over a major hurdle on a project I've been working on that has just languished for months now... and then yesterday there was this big break-through! Boy, did that feel good and take some pressure off!!

So, it looks like normal is just around the corner. Now, if we could just sell that house...

Father, thank you for your love and caring. We praise you for all the works you are doing in and through us. Thank you for your provision and protection. Amen.

Driving through hell

2005-09-07T08:06:00.000-05:00

On our way to Alabama for my sisters wedding we had to first pass through Louisiana and Mississippi. We opted for a more northern route so as to avoid all the Katrina aftermath. Little did we know at the time that there is no such thing-- we were shocked to learn that the entire states have been devastated! As we drove through Louisiana we began experiencing a very eery feeling. We passed convoy after convoy of military vehicles. Trees lay on the ground everywhere, snapped in two like toothpicks.

We decided to stop for gas before it got worse only to discover that there was no gas-- no electricity either. We got back on the interstate and about 20 minutes later we decided to stop again, this time assuming we'd have better luck. At this exit there was still no power but there was one gas station open. With two lines stretching in opposite directions as far as you could see, the station was being run by military police. It was an eery scene.

A little creeped out, we hopped back on the interstate and decided we would just try to get past these two states if at all possible and then we'd stop for gas. We made it through without having to stop again and pulled off the interstate at the very first exit across the Alabama border. What we found was unbelievable... more lines! We decided not to push our luck and joined the line at this station. One hour later, our car was gassed up and we were back on the road.

I can't explain to you how eery and odd it felt to not be able to pull off the interstate and drive through McDonald's and fill my car up with gas and my kids up with snacks. The idea that these people have no power and limited sanitation just blows my mind. The idea that we have to have military police running the gas stations blows my mind.

Obviously, this does not begin to compare with the challenges and experiences the people in and around New Orleans and Biloxi are facing-- but it is a different kind of hell none the less.

Father, I praise you for getting me and my family through this situation. Father, I beg your mercy on these people who are not just traveling through, but who are living in this situation. I praise you for all the goodness that has already come from this situation. Be with these people as only you can. Show us how and where we can serve. Amen.

Feeling the love

2005-09-01T16:21:00.000-05:00

It's so great to be back in blogland with you all and already feeling the love! I was so excited when I saw I had 13 comments-- Jokes on me! Thank you Dwiggy for helping me out on that one.

But seriously, I do already feel your love and it means so much to me! It's been a difficult three months, but knowing I have people all over praying for me and thinking about me makes it all so much better. I'm so blessed to be a part of God's family. One of His greatest gifts to us all.

We'll be traveling this weekend to my sister's wedding-- her fourth to be exact. I won't go into all that here-- but please be praying for our safe travel and for blessings on her marriage. It is all our hope that this one will work out and that she will be able to glorify God through her marriage. She is a wonderful Christian woman, but this part of her life has been very, very troubled in her past.

Work went really well today-- must have been all your prayers for me. I have to admit, I did come to work this morning with a great feeling that I had prayer warriors on my side. I had lunch with my two bosses-- both females-- and we discussed several upcoming projects. I really do like them-- they are super people with strong visions for our company and its future. I'm glad I'm here and part of this organization-- it's just that some days....

Deanie and I have some serious praying and discerning to do about our housing situation. This has been perhaps the most difficult part of our transition. The other house has not sold and our realtor gave us a list of "improvements" she thinks we need to make in order to sell our house. None of them are big, it's just that we're not there to oversee any of this and it's frustrating and expensive! Then we have this side of the equation to worry about-- I mean pray about. Although, I think if we could sell our house, finding one here wouldn't really be a big problem. Please pray for God's leadership in these areas of our lives.

Seeing the homeless people in Mississippi and Louisiana this week has been very humbling for us-- especially right now in the midst of our own housing "crisis." Last night at dinner our 9 year-old son prayed a prayer of thanksgiving for providing me with a great job and a house for us to all be safe and together in. WOW! Does he have the right perspective or what?

Father, thank you for putting family in our lives-- both our physical families and our church family. Thank you for the way you are so faithful to provide for us. Bless all those who are hurting right now in Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama. Amen.

He's Back!

2005-08-31T08:06:00.000-05:00

Dear Blogland,
I must apologize for my unexcused absence...

When I looked at the date of my last post I couldn't believe how long it had been! I don't know exactly what happened, however, slowly but surely I got out of the daily routine habit of doing my blog-- and checking in on all my blog friends. I guess I went into self-preservation mode and only focused on "necessary" activities to ge me through this rather rough time of transition.

Before we made the move, I was warned by several people how emotionally difficult and draining a move can be. Suffice it to say that I basically ignored these well-meant warnings. After-all, our family WANTED this move-- it wasn't being forced on us. But, being separated from my family for two months, the stress of starting a new job (after being so comfortable in my last job of 9 years), trying to sell our house and looking for new houses here and now having all four of us living in a 800 square foot apartment-- has finally taken a toll on me!

There are many, many wonderful things about being here:
We love Austin--it is such a wonderfully cool place to live. We LOVE our new church-- there is a very strong youth group program and wonderful kids ministries, and we are both singing on the praise team. There have been baptisms nearly every single Sunday since we've been here. We love our kids new school-- Hill Country Christian School. Not only is it a very Christ-centered school, it uses a "classical" approach to education. It's a really, really interesting approach (based on Greeks and Roman's structure/philosophy) and we feel so blessed to have found it.

However, there are also many challenges to living here:
My job has proven to be very difficult and demanding of me and my time. I inherited a fairly complex situation within my department and have had to deal with some pretty big issues. I've been putting in way too many hours during this process as well, and that does not bode well at home! It has also been rough to not be "at home' in a house yet as well. My wife and I are big "house" people-- we spend a lot of time at home, we love decorating and gardening and are just very focused on our home. So, temporarily being without one has proved to be challenging to us!

But, at the end of the day we are very blessed and very happy to be here. God is good and feel strongly that He has brought us here for His purposes.

Father, thank you for your love and your care. Thank you for your faithfulness to us. Continue to bless us and keep us in your care. Amen.

Good Times

2005-07-06T08:10:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't been posting as regularly as I'd like to... but things are going very well in Austin.

The family is settling in to our new surroundings-- and we're even learning that maybe we don't need as much space as we've always thought we had to have. Not that we want our new house to only have one bathroom like the apartment-- but there is something to be said about simplicity in life. God is teaching us some very valuable lessons about materialism and all kinds of other exciting things. For instance, that without TV, telephone and internet access we actually talk to each other a little more! Go figure...

We spent the 4th of July weekend with our extended family-- the 3rd we did fireworks with my brother and his family who live here in Austin, and then spent the 4th at the Ranch with Deanie's family. It was great to be out at the ranch and not feel the pressure we've always felt before to cram everything into one weekend-- now we can come back every weekend if we want to! Thank you God!!

Then, for the first time we were able to go to our new church together as a family. It was an exceptional Sunday with 5 baptisms. The worship was powerful and Lynn Anderson's lesson on family's and forgiveness was spot-on. It was a great day and I think everyone left church (we were one of the very last families to leave-- we were just surrounding by people talking to us!) feeling "at home." What a blessing!

Our apartment has a pool, so the kids and I have been swimming every evening when I get home from work. That's been a nice little perk. So "swimming pool" has been added to our list of "nice to haves" on our house hunting requirements list. We'll see...

Work continues to be a challenge, but that's what I signed up for. Those of you who know me well know that I wouldn't be happy in any other circumstance. We pitched for a major piece of Dell business last week-- the launch of their new laptop computer. That would be a fun piece of business to win... I'll keep you posted.

Deanie is doing well. She's really learning her way around Austin much better than I expected her to... and I think she really likes it here. She's been out with the realtor a couple of times and has found a few houses she really likes. I know she's loving the idea of being this close to her family. I'm happy for her... she's allowed me to drag her all over the place for the past 17 years, so she's long overdue for this Texas experience.

Pray that all is well with all of you out there.

Father, thank you for your love and abiding presence. Thank you for giving us the goodness in each day. Thank you for the lessons you are teaching me and my family. Amen.

Last Day in Peoria

2005-06-23T08:42:00.000-05:00

Well, I've been "home" in Peoria with my family again since Saturday and it's been wonderful! I was very lonely without them and couldn't wait to get back home. We've spent the last few days hanging out with our really good friends-- laughing, crying and singing. We are so blessed to have such a wonderful group of friends who we know love us unconditionally and would do anything for us. Thank you God for putting these wonderful people in our lives!

The time here has also been a bit weird! My new agency has a client here in Peoria (which was also a client of my former agency) and so a group from my new agency has been up here for the past three days conducting meetings with various groups. While they were here, they were amazed at how many people I knew-- and I guess how many people knew me. Part of the benefit in living in a smaller community I guess. But it was also a weird feeling for me having lived in total anonymity in Austin for the past eight weeks and now suddenly seeing people I know at every turn-- it was just an odd sensation.

Today we will load up a small U-Haul trailer with the "bare necessities" and begin the journey to Austin. It's all a little stressful-- and even bittersweet. It was easy to say "good-bye" to Peoria when I knew my family was still here. But now we truly are leaving Peoria. I don't think I miss the actual place too much... but I will miss our friends and church family. I know our family will have tears as we pull out of the driveway and wave good-bye to our old house-- full of wonderful memories of family events and meals with friends. Thank you God for bringing us to this place and for challenging us and helping us to grow. Thank you for putting wonderful people in our lives and blessing us with such a wonderful home filled with love.

And so a new chapter starts for us. Much of it is still a big mystery. When will our house sell and how long will we have to live in an apartment? Will the Christian school we've chosen for our children have room for them (they are currently on a waiting list!)? Where will our new home be and what will it be like? Will the family like the church that I've been going to there? Will work feel different now that my family is living with me (I hope so!)?

One thing we do know, God is with us and has gone before us. He will provide and we truly do not need to worry about anything. What a blessing! Now, to fully trust in that blessing, right.

I covet all your prayers as we make this big transition. We ask for God's hand of protection and provision.

Thank you all for your love and support-- and for your prayers!

Thank you God for eleven wonderful years in Peoria. Thank you for shaping our family's lives here for your purpose. Continue to love us and guide us. Amen.

My Heart is crushed...

2005-06-16T01:53:00.000-05:00

I am so overwhelmed with emotion... I just feel like my heart is crushed, or as David said, my bones ache.

My dearest friend Dwight is hurting and I'm not able to be there for him. As I write this I'm in a hotel in Santa Monica. It's a gorgeous place... I'm a block from the beach-- but I want to be in Bloomington. I want to be up late with my friend. I want to listen. I want to pray with him. I want to hug him. But I can't do that. I'm very, very far away... and my heart aches.

I am learning the value of church. The value of love. The value of family. I am learning to appreciate God's wisdom that it is not good for man to be alone. I am home sick for my family. And I am homesick for my church family. They need me. I need them.

Tommorrow I fly back to Austin. And then Friday I fly HOME to Peoria to be with my wife and kids. I miss them so deeply. I am not whole without them. And then Sunday, I will be reunited with my Northside family, I need them. They need me.

Please be in prayer for all of this. I know that God is using ALL of these circumstances to bring me and others closer to Him.

Father, thank you for the gift of family-- physical and spiritual. Bless Dwight and Jeana with your love. Bless the Northside family with your peace. Amen.

Feeling Small in the Big Apple

2005-06-12T20:02:00.000-05:00

Well, here I am in NYC-- the Big Apple. Of course I am familiar with just how big the Big Apple actually is, but every time I've been here before I've been with others. Today I'm here alone, and it feels especially big. And I feel especially small. You could truly just "get lost" here. That's sort of a weird thought and feeling.

You all know I'm really lonely right now being separated from my family... but being here with no one to share it with seems to make the loneliness exponential.

And to top it all off, I got some really upsetting news today about some people I really love and care about back home. I won't go into it here... but there are some families who are really hurting right now and desperately need all of our prayers. Please be praying for my friends-- God knows who they are and what their needs are.

"Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up."

Consider me humbled, Father. I know I'm lost anywhere without you! Bless my friends, Father, with forgiveness and a peace and comfort only you can give. Amen.

Coming up for air

2005-06-10T19:38:00.000-05:00

OK-- I'm learning the hard way how the other half lives. By other half, I mean the people who work for someone else. I hate to admit I was spoiled, but I think I have to do so. I was spoiled!!

It's not that I don't love my new job, because I do. I love it alot. But, now that I'm not the "head honcho" I'm finding out that I'm not "in control" of my day. Now, I'm sure this will pass-- and I'm certain it's not all related to my "position" in the company either. Lots of my "time management crisis" is due to a large workload, the fact that it's a brand new job and that I'm a perfectionist pleaser. (Yeah, I admit it). But still, there is this undeniable fact that I no longer can do as I please whenever I please. Oh well... this will be good for me.

So here I am, blogging again. Sorry for my conspicuous absence! All is well... I still love Austin. It is such a great city. I really like my church, I've even made several friends now-- and when I missed a week to go to New Braunfels to see my wife's family-- they all noticed I wasn't there. That kind of felt good.

However, I really miss my family. We finally have some light at the end of the tunnel. I'll be flying up in two weeks (from today) and helping do the last minute packing and clean-ups/touch-ups on the house. Then, after a couple of days on business, we will load up the Escalade and head south to Austin. I've rented us a two bedroom apartment... I've told the kids it will be like going on a vacation. Yeah, a vacation with only one bathroom!!! But we'll all be together.

I'm flying to New York tomorrow for business and I'm excited about that. I'll be there for two and a half days. Hopefully, I'll get to see a show (if I can get a 1/2 price ticket) and visit MoMa and Guggenheim. Oh yeah, there's a few business meetings in there, too.

Then I'll be back in Austin for a day before jetting off to LA for two days. Back in Austin a day, and then off to Illinois for the week! YEAH!!!

I'm looking forward to seeing all my old friends and to going to church at Northside. You have no idea how much I miss my church family and worshipping with them!

Well... It's 7:50pm on a Friday night and I'd really like to make it home before it's dark (sadly, that's become my goal :-( )

Trust all is well with all of you, blog family.

I'll try to get caught up on all your lives, too.

Blessings to you all!

Father, thank you for your amazing love. Thank you for being my shelter in tough and trying times. I know you are here. I need you to carry me through! Amen.

Busyness vs. Holyness

2005-05-19T09:10:00.000-05:00

For the past two weeks I have been swept into a whirlwind of busyness! We're in the middle of an enormous pitch for a new global account-- which is very exciting-- but we've been working 12 hour days for two weeks now. I almost felt myself spinning into a panic attack at the beginning of this week and I just knew I couldn't let myself do that. But I didn't feel like I could stop it.

And I was right... I couldn't stop it, but God could, and did.

I've since been spending some time each morning and evening (late!) in devotion-- something I had not been doing earlier. God's word is so powerful-- IF we will be in it and allow it to transform us.

I can't say I'm calm as a cucumber, but I do feel that with God's grace and peace I have found balance. I know that I can find peace in any moment-- even the zaniest of them-- by acknowledging God's presence and the Spirit's in-dwelling.

Thank you Father for that peace that surpasses all understanding. You are so faithful with your promises. Amen.

Amazing Worship

2005-05-16T08:24:00.000-05:00

A new friend from work who overheard me singing a Christian song while making coffee the other day, later came into my office and asked if I would be interested in going to church with him some Sunday night. I was really glad to know there was another Christian in my office and to have something to do to fill my Sunday nights-- so I said "Yes!"

And am I ever glad I did...

So, last night I met him and his wife for church. It's a new church that's being planted in the downtown area of Austin called Austin Stone. The church currently meets in the gym of Austin High School and the average age of the church is probably somewhere between 25 and 30. As I parked my car, I wasn't really sure what to expect... in a way I felt like I was attending a Youth Rally or something-- everyone was young and most were wearing shorts and flip-flops.

Once inside I realized there were also lots of young families with young children-- they even had a nursery!

Everyone was so friendly and excited to be at church-- there was a very strong since of community and anticipation. It was a new feeling I'm not sure I've felt at church before-- except maybe at the Zoe Conferences. There was a large video screen with running video-- mostly abstract designs moving and morphing to the beat of the music which was playing loudly-- but not too loud-- over a huge sound system. The environment was energized. I felt very welcomed even though it was an unfamiliar surrounding.

Then, the worship team (band) took the stage and starting leading the church in praise. The worship leader looked familiar... who is that guy and why does he look familiar?

My friend leans over and says: "do you know Chris Tomlin?"

"Yeah..." I say as if to imply-- "who doesn't know Chris Tomlin?"

"This is his home church-- he's the praise minister here," my friend informed me.

Oh my... that's why he looked familiar! WOW!

And what an amazing worship time it was--- and not because we were at Chris Tomlin's church. But because the young people around me were there to praise God. They were intense in their worship... no one was talking or passing notes... no one was thinking about the pot roast in the oven... and no one appeared to be judging others by their appearances or their approach to worship. They were all just lost in wonder and awe-- declaring their Maker's Praise... It was truly AMAZING WORSHIP!

Thank you God for your amazing love for us. Thank you for the avenue of expressing our love back to you through heart felt worship. Thank you for setting my heart free last night. Amen.

God's Wisdom

2005-05-07T13:23:00.000-05:00

"It is not good for man to be alone..."

God was right, and still is... It's not good for man to be alone-- especially this man. I miss my wife and kids terribly. It's an emptiness that is impossible to fill-- I know, because for the past two weeks I've tried to fill it with anything and everything possible.

TV is no fun alone-- even though I have total control of the remote, and I don't have to worry about censoring for the family. I'd rather watch re-runs of the Cosby Show all day and night WITH my family, than watch HBO alone. Even my beloved "Trading Spaces" isn't the same when there's no one there to discuss the pros and cons of the design concepts with. For me, TV is meant to be shared. Perhaps when our family is reunited, I'll be a little less possessive of the remote. Perhaps.

Driving around and looking at houses and neighborhoods is total Dullsville without my family. You see a great house, and there's no one to show it to-- where's the fun in that?

Even Star-bucks has no appeal when the Venti Americano is sipped in silence surrounded by strangers-- all laughing and enjoying each other's company. I never thought I'd be bored of Starbucks.

And probably the weirdest and loneliest place of all is church. I've found a church here that I really like, but it is very awkward to be worshipping without your family. It seems odd to feel the loneliest when I'm surround by well over 1,000 fellow worshippers, but it is the place I feel most alone.

I guess God knew what He was doing when He designed us to desire our mates and our families. I'm learning every day how much I do truly love my family-- and how much they impact my joy. I guess I still have so much to be thankful for-- my family is all still alive (I can't begin to even imagine what widows and widowers must go through), and our family is all still intact (divorce must be the loneliest feeling in the world).

Father, thank you for my wife and children. Thank you for showing me what a true blessing they really are in my life. Help me to never take them for granted. Fill my void with a renewed hunger and desire for you. Amen

Howdy, Y'all!

2005-04-28T13:53:00.000-05:00

Well, I survived the 17 hour drive... and did so in one day. I think that was the longest day of my life! My poor lower back and knees will never be the same again. Thanks for all your prayers for my safe journey.

Austin is beautiful! I absolutely love it here! Everything is green and hilly... and the weather is spectacular! Sun, glorious sun.
Obviously, I'm missing my wife and kids-- I'm learning everyday to appreciate them so much more. Without really realizing it, I think I (and I'm sure most everyone fits in this category) have taken my family for granted. Just being with them... hearing them talk and laugh. I think I even miss my children's occasional arguements!

Do me a favor: hug your spouse, children, and friends... and tell them how much they mean to you. Do it because you can.

I'll update soon with more fun details on the new job and my new life here. Keep praying for me and my family while we are separated. Hopefully, the house will sell quickly and we'll be reunited soon (yo can pray for that, too!).

Father, thank you for keeping me safe on my journey to Texas. Thank you for the beauty of this place. Continue to protect my family. Guard their hearts and keep them close to you. Amen.

Saying Good-bye to Illinois

2005-04-20T10:03:00.000-05:00

Well, it's hard to believe, but the time has finally come to bid Illinois a fond farewell. Today is my last day at work, tomorrow will be spent with my wife and getting a few last minute details done around the house before I leave for Austin. Friday morning, around 4:30 am I'll start the long trip. So today is the only real time I'll have to formally say good-bye to Illinois before saying hello to Texas Saturday morning!

In spite of my love affair with the South and my frequent complaining about Illinois winters, I will miss this place-- especially my church family and friends. The following is a tribute to Illinois in a list of 20 things I will miss about this place we've called home for the past 11 years.

20 Things I will miss about Illinois:
1) Our "house church" family-- a group of five families who have been through so much together! We love you all!
2) Our church family! Northside is the most awesome church ever and we will miss everyone so much! Love you guys!!!
3) Spring days like today... the temperature is a perfect 75 degrees... flowers are everywhere and the river is sparkling!
4) Crisp, cool autumn days where the trees are a beautiful mix of orange, yellow, red and purple... there's nothing like it!
5) Good and caring friends... we have some of the neatest friends here-- you know who you are! We will miss you all!
6) Our kids Christian school-- it's the best of the best! We loved it and will miss it, the teachers and all our friends dearly!
7) Grandview Drive--dubbed "The World's Most Beautiful Drive" by the visiting President Roosevelt. It is truly spectacular!
8) Walks in our neighborhood-- safe, peaceful and tree-covered.
9) Knowing people wherever you go-- at first it bothered me, but now I realize how special that is!
10) Live Jazz at "Five Spot Jazz" downtown.
11) The river-- a constant source of life and energy.
12) WCIC-- our Christian radio station, it was just awarded the Dove Award for "Station of the Year"!
13) FREE Christian concerts-- they happened all the time with TOP recording artists.
15) The first snow-- I hate to admit it, but that one "first snow" and how it hangs on the trees is spectacular... it's the 20th
snow I can't handle!
16) Hamburgers at Ludy's! Our dear friends, the Bartons, had us over for our "last supper" last night and served Ludy's!
17) Eating at the downtown "carts"... you feel like you're in a big city, but there's no traffic or homeless people!
18) Being only 2 1/2 hours from two fabulous cities: Chicago and St. Louis! We've had some great times at both places.
19) The Spoon River Drive-- a silly, annual trek for "antiquers" the first weekend of October. Such a beautiful time and place to be driving.
20) Sitting by the fireplace drinking hot chocolate with my family and good friends. Safe, warm and loved.

Father, thank you for showing your love to us so lavishly! Thank you for blessing us with these years in Illinois. It is here that our son was born and our daughter was born again. You have blessed us beyond measure, most especially with loving and caring brothers and sisters. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Good-bye Illinois.

Waiting on God

2005-04-19T11:11:00.000-05:00

I am not a patient person. I do not excel at waiting... for anyone or anything.

When I drive, I switch lanes constantly looking for the shortest, fastest, most direct route through the maze of traffic. At the store, I will go through the self-check lanes (even when I have more than 15 items) if I think it will save me two minutes. I'm the husband who sits in the car in the driveway wondering where the rest of the family is on Sunday mornings.

So, about four years ago when my wife and I felt the desire to leave Illinois and runaway home to the South I did not understand why God did not immediately approve my plan and put in a transfer for me. After all, surely it was "His will" that my children be surrounded by their extended family... and surely He wanted our family to be in a more positive church environment. It just made sense... it was a spiritual no-brainer. If I could see it so clearly, I knew the God of the universe would, too. Surely.

When job offers were not flooding my e-mail in-box, I decided maybe I wasn't praying hard enough. So I started praying harder and more frequently. I decided to give new meaning to the verse about praying without ceasing. If God didn't see it my way, then I would just have to wear Him down. And if that didn't work, then I'd roll up my sleeves and get busy making it happen all on my own.

I must have interviewed with every advertising agency in San Antonio at least twice... some of them three or four times. Each time it was the same story: we love you, we want you, we just can't afford you--NOW. Hmmm.... you mean I'll have to wait? You don't understand my personal crisis? You can't just re-arrange a few things for ME and make this happen-- NOW?

Then, our church situation went from bad to worse. It became unbearable just to worship on Sundays... we were stuck in a legalistic time-warp and there seemed to be no way out. My business hit an all-time low following the events of 9-11 and the impending economic recession. Now, we had REAL and LEGITIMATE reasons to leave this God-forsaken place... surely He would answer our prayers and deliver us.

But nothing happened... not a crumb. Not even the smallest crack in the window was opened. In fact, I couldn't find a window-- open or closed-- anywhere. It was apparent that we were being given a definitive NO from God. Either that, or we were being ignored. That thought consumed me... either way, I became bitter and even angry towards God. I spent a full year mad at God. My worship was effected... my whole life was effected. I was hurt and I was disillusioned... abandoned by my Abba.

Then, I attended a Zoe Conference in Nashville entitled "Desperate" where I learned that being angry at God was OK... in fact, it was normal. I learned that God used "desert" experiences to equip and refine many of the great heroes of the Bible for better and greater things in their lives-- including Jesus. I learned that the majority of the Psalms were not ones of praise-- as I had always thought-- but that they were psalms of lament. I began to understand and identify with David's struggle. And I begin to understand that God was using this time and these experiences to equip me for something. To change me... to draw me closer to Him... to break me of my pride and self-sufficiency. It was the most liberating insight I have ever experienced.

In an instant, I went from dry bones to rejoicing. I experienced a renewal that would continue for the next couple of years and would completely transform me and my family.

Shortly after that time, God did deliver us from our negative church experience and led our family, along with several other families, to a wonderful church in Bloomington, Illinois. It wasn't a very practical solution... the church was an hour from our home, but it was an oasis in the desert. That church ministered to us and loved us unconditionally. They encouraged us to use our special talents and gifts. They restored our hope and belief in the church. And they continued our refinement and restoration that started at the Zoe Conference.

With true contentment in our hearts, we began to almost forget about our desires to move. God knit us so closely and tightly with our church family that our strong urges for family connections were eased. We had family now.

And then, and only then God opened a window.

We were planning our Spring Break vacation trip to our family ranch in Texas. It was an exciting time for us. The Wednesday before we were to leave on Friday, my mother-in-law- (a great spiritual hero to me and awesome pray warrior) called and asked me a very peculiar question. She wanted to know if I had scheduled any interview appointments with the agencies in Austin for while we were down for Spring Break.

"Uhhhh... no" I replied sort of in shock. "Well, don't you think you should" she sweetly nudged. "Uhmm, sure," I said. "Well," she continued "I've been praying about it... and I definitely think you should."

"That's weird," I thought to myself. Why Austin? We've never even talked about Austin before... why there and why now? But, like any good son-in-law, I looked up the website of the one agency I knew of in Austin. I clicked on their careers section and to my surprise there was a listing for a Creative Director. "What are the chances of that?" I muttered to myself. I quickly sent off a short e-mail informing them that I was interested in the job and that I had family in the area. I told them I'd be in town next week on vacation if they were interested in interviewing me.

Within two hours, my four-year wait was over. Just like that, God? That's how you're going to answer all those prayers... WOW! It all happened so fast, I really didn't have much time to think about it. But through out the whole interview and offer experience I just had this odd sensation that this was such a God-thing. It was so clear and so evident in every way. From the speed of things... to the sense of calm that I had about the whole affair. And of course there was the whole "perfectness" of the whole opportunity. More money, more fulfilling position, less stress, bigger company, better benefits... almost too perfect.

But I knew, like David must have, that this was from God and that He had indeed heard my pleas. And that He does love me and care of me-- even when I don't deserve His rich and lavish love.

Father, thank you for teaching me patience. Father, thank you for showing me your love through your people at Northside. Thank you for equipping me for this experience. Thank you for your good and perfect timing. Thank you for forgiving me of my doubting heart. Thank you.... thank you.... thank you! Amen

Breaking the Silence... Moving On

2005-04-18T08:34:00.000-05:00

Well, my life has been a whirlwind for the past two and a half weeks. My apologies for not blogging... but I've been pre-occupied-- OK, I've been completely overwhelmed!

The news... God has answered our prayers of more than four years-- we are moving back to TEXAS!! YEE-HAAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Austin to be exact. God is so good, and His timing is so perfect. He blesses us so far beyond what we can imagine... and when He moves and does something, it is vastly superior to anything we can attempt to cook up on our own! The way in which this all happened is truly a God thing-- I'll be blogging the details of all that in the coming days!

This is just so very exciting to us in so many ways! Primarily, we will finally be close to our family. My wife and I have been married for 17 years, during that time we have never lived close to our family. And since we have had children, we have been very far away from family-- currently about 17 hours from both sides. In Austin, we will be about one hour from my wife's mother and her two sisters, their husbands and our kid's four cousins. In addition, I have a brother and sister-in-law who live in Austin with another three cousins for the kids! This is going to be such a blessing for our family!!

From a career perspective, this will also be an exciting move. The advertising agency I am joining is much larger (85 people) than my current firm, plus I will be moving back into the FUN side of the business working as the Creative Director of the agency!! I'm very excited about this aspect of the move!! Additionally, in my new role I will have much less stress than I currently do in my role as President. Praise God!

Of course, it doesn't hurt that Austin has 300 days of glorious sun and ZERO DAYS OF SNOW!!

There is, of course, the down side to this move... we will be leaving the most wonderful church in the world! And the most loving and giving church family in the world!! We can't imagine not worshipping with this body-- it's painful to even think about. But we trust God and know that He is good and faithful and will provide a new church body for us.

Also, we have lived here for 11 years now... so we have many wonderful and dear friends. And our children are enrolled in the most fantastic Christian school. It will be hard to replace PCS!!!!

It's bittersweet news... but God has moved in some wonderful ways to make all of this happen and to prepare our hearts for this event. I will be blogging about some of those things in greater detail in the coming days.

But first, a couple of prayer requests:

1) I will be driving down to Austin (by myself) this Friday to move into a temporary apartment and then to start work on Monday 4-25. I would covet your prayers for my safe passage and ask that God goes before me and prepares things for my arrival in Austin.

2) My wife and two kids will be here in Illinois to finish school and to sell the house. Please pray for God's protection over them, and for my wife's emotional and physical strength to endure this alone. She is brave, but I know that she is still somewhat concerned doing all of this alone.

3) Please pray that our house sells quickly! The sooner the house sells, the sooner our family can be together again.

Thank you all for your love and support! I will continue blogging... In fact, while I'm alone I'm sure I'll be blogging even more!

Father, thank you for your love and for your goodness. Thank you for answering my prayers in such an incredible way! I give you the glory for all that is happening! Praise be to you! Amen

Praise the Lord, and Pass the Creamed Corn!

2005-04-01T08:54:00.000-06:00

Well, creamed corn!

All I can say is that God is so good and that His timing is so perfect. He is answering prayers for me right now... I can't really talk about.

But, please join me in praising Him for His goodness and faithfulness!!

Father, thank you!

Rested, Relaxed and Robbed!

2005-03-31T09:34:00.000-06:00

We had a wonderfully restful and relaxing vacation in the Texas Hill Country. It was warm enough to swim and layout at the pool... we had an absolutely wonderful time. That is until the drive home.

We stopped in Oklahoma City to spend the night, and since our car was so fully packed from our trip we packed a small overnight bag for the hotel stay.

At 3:00 am I got a call from the hotel front desk: "We're sorry to call you so early, sir, but the Oklahoma City police need your assistance with your vehicle... it's been burglarized." Am I dreaming... or did I just hear what I thought I just heard. We've been robbed?!

I stumbled out of bed and strained to quickly find something to throw on so I could go outside. By this time my wife and daughter were awake. "What's going on honey?" "Dad, why are you getting dressed?"

"Somebody broke into the car," I tried to say without sounding alarmed. They both burst into tears instantly. I tried to reassure them that all was fine as I rushed out the door to assess the damage.

They had broken in through the rear passenger window. Glass was everywhere inside the Escalade. The first thing I noticed missing was the brand new DVD system we had bought for the kids to have for this trip. Then I noticed all the DVD's were gone, too. I checked the console between the two front seat and discovered our entire cd collection (all Christian music) was missing, too. I was in shock... and exhausted. I had a hard time really focusing on what else was missing. I learned later, that EVERYTHING was missing-- including our kids Easter baskets. We have estimated $5,000 worth of stuff-- including all our clothes, luggage and even some late Christmas gifts were gone.

The police explained to me that we were targeted because we were driving "an expensive, large vehicle with out-of-state plates." Apparently, this has been happening for some time now, and they were routinely patrolling the hotel parking lots looking for broken windows. I filled out the police report, and they gave me a number to call in case we discovered other things were missing. They suggested I pull my car around to the front of the hotel, directly under the drive-though carport.

When I returned to the room, my wife and daughter were still crying, clinging to each other. It was scary to see them both so frightened. At first I assumed my daughter was upset about the loss of property-- her new DVD system was gone. But I learned she was crying because she felt violated and so disappointed in the sad state of this broken world.

"I can't believe there are people out there that would do this to us," she said in disbelief. Wow, I thought... my little girl is really growing up. "That's right, honey... this world is full of broken, evil people." I replied. This is a good, safe way to learn a very valuable lesson-- the reality of evil, sin and crime. "It's out there everyday... it's more than just headlines and news stories... it really does happen."

It was a very sad moment. The protective bubble my wife and I had so carefully built around our precious children had been violently burst.

Father, thank you for your protection. Please forgive the people who have done this to us. Help us to learn from this that things are just things. This place is NOT our home... and we belong to You! Amen.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

2005-03-18T08:09:00.000-06:00

The countdown is finally over... today we load up the Escalade and head south for the family ranch in the Hill Country of Texas. The ranch is about one hour outside of San Antonio in a little town appropriately named Hunt. I can't wait to get there.

While at the ranch we'll do a whole lot of nothing! Swimming in the pool, taking out the paddle boats, exploring in the 4-wheelers, fishing in the creek, and rocking on the back porch. I hope to catch up on my reading and napping. The kids will be spoiled by their Grandma and will have a blast hanging out with their cousins.

So, blog family, I'll probably be off the radar screen for the next 10 days or so. Please pray for our safe travels and that God will bless our time together and give us the rest and refreshing we need.

Father, thank you for time off and rest. Thank you for time that can be spent focused on family. Please bless us with a safe and fun trip. Surround us with your love. Amen.

Joy Sightings

2005-03-16T07:58:00.000-06:00

As I explained in my previous post, we were challenged Sunday to track our "joy sightings" this week. The thought is to emphasize the joy in our lives by paying closer attention to it, rather than the negatives surrounding us.

Here are a few of my joy sightings so far:

- My son when he was allowed to have ice cream before bed time.
- My wife as she opened and read her birthday cards from various friends and family members.
- Me as my new financial planner asked if he could close out our phone conversation with a prayer.
- Me as I read encouraging words from my blog family.
- My wife as I arrived ON TIME (a first) for our standing Tuesday lunch date.
- My daughter when she declared to me that she had absolutely no homework since she finished it all in study hall.
- Me when my cell phone rang last night with an exciting and unexpected phone call (it was an answer to prayer).
- My son last night when I made him macaroni and cheese for dinner (it was boys night-- the girls were at a "purse party").

This has been fun, and it has really helped me to be looking for the positives instead of the negatives. Also, it has helped me focus on my role in bringing or "making' joy for others. It is amazing how God will use to be a joy maker, if we are a willing participant. But it does require some discipline on our part, too.

Father, thank you for being our ultimate source of joy. Thank you for allowing us to have joy that transcends our circumstances. Continue to use me to be a joy maker for you! Amen.

Joy Maker or Taker?

2005-03-14T08:37:00.000-06:00

Sunday was an incredible day of worship, fellowship, teaching and challenge.

We were continuing our study in Philippians, this week in chapter 3:1-11. The topic of joy and the source of joy... as well as the source of joy being taken away ("the dogs"). It was a great and challenging study. At the conclusion of his lesson our minister, as he always does, challenged us for the week.

He challenged us to go out and have a week of JOY... to track our "joy sightings" and to be sure and look out for the pitfalls out there that rob us of our joy. Then came the major challenge... he asked us to evaluate if we were ever the pitfalls! Am I a joy taker! He challenged us to be joy makers and NOT joy takers.

I've been thinking about all the times I KNOW I've robbed people-- my wife, my kids, my friends, my coworkers, waiters, store clerks-- of their joy. And those are the times I KNOW of... how often have I been a joy taker without even knowing it?

Well, I'm not going to rob myself of my joy by beating myself up about that one... but instead I'l move on to joy-making fun.

My prayer for you, blog family, is that you will have a week FULL of joy! May you find it in all the usual places... and this week in particular, in places you've never even thought about finding joy!

Father, thank you for being THE source of joy in our lives. Transform me into a joy MAKER! Put joy-making opportunities into my life this week, Father. Thank you for your grace and mercy. Amen.

Shoeless, Like Moses

2005-03-11T07:48:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I felt a little like Moses. No, I didn't see a burning bush. But, I did feel like I was on Holy ground.

The Lord was just working in my life yesterday so intensely... so overtly that I wasn't sure if I should cover my face or remove my shoes-- or both. One thing I do know, it was powerful and I was moved to tears-- humbled in the presence of His divine intervention.

I won't go into all the personal details and circumstances surrounding these events, except to say that it brought together several very important and previously unclear areas of my life that will greatly impact my future walk with Him as well. They are areas of my life that I've been praying about significantly-- and that I know others have been praying about for me, too. And yesterday He brought together people, opportunities and circumstances in the grandest orchestration I've ever seen.

I just felt like I had to share this and give Him ALL the praise and glory for what He's doing in, through and despite of me.

Thank you, Lord. Thank you. Amen.

100 Things About Me

2005-03-02T08:14:00.000-06:00

OK, I've given in to all the blogging peer pressure and now it's my turn to do the 100 Things List. I'm going to take a page from my friend and fellow blogger "Fireguy" (http://fireguy.blogspot.com) and divide mine up into some specific categories. So here it goes...

100 Things About Me:

Skip 101: The Basics
1. I am a Christian. God is the number one thing in my life and I TRY to live a Christ-centered life.
2. I am married to a wonderful woman who is a stay-at-home Mom by choice.
3. I have a beautiful daughter who is a baptized follower, too. She's also a typical pre-teen! : )
4. I have a handsome, red-headed son who is the ultimate athlete. He's a gold belt, soon-to-be yellow belt in Karate.
5. I am President of an Ad Agency and love what I do. There are those days, though...
6. I graduated from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Communications-- that's where I met my wife.
7. I grew up primarily in Florida, just north of Panama City Beach.
8. I got my nickname "Skip" in college-- it's a long story but it has to do with being preppy in West Texas.
9. I am one of five kids-- the middle child, to be exact.
10. I am a Republican.

All Things Spiritual
11. I've been on a real spiritual journey for the past 5 or so years and have dramatically changed my views on a number of topics. Most people would consider me a "liberal"... at least in CoC circles! : )
12. I credit Zoe Group and BST for planting the seed in my heart to want and desire more in my spiritual life
13. I am excited about the things the Spirit has been doing in and through my life.
14. I am part of a "house church" that has been meeting for several years now. We have grown very close and have gone through some pretty major stuff together. I love this kind of close-knit community. Something you can't find in "corporate" church-- especially the big ones.
15. I have been reading a number of terrific books that have helped shaped who I am becoming spiritually. Purpose Driven Life, Purpose Driven Church, Seizing Your Divine Moment, Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire, Next Door Savior are a few of my favorites.
16. About five years ago, my wife and I made a decision to "focus" our family on Christian music and avoid most secular music. It is amazing how this has blessed our lives, and help us avoid trouble we see others going through with their children! (Although we still listen to jazz)
17. In spite of all the growth, I still feel grossly inadequate in my spiritual walk.
18. I love my current church family! We drive one hour each way to be at this new church!
19. Blogging has helped my spiritual growth and formation.
20. I love the Psalms-- all of them! The praises and the laments!

My Side of the Family
21. My father was a CoC preacher while I was growing up and as a result I lived all over the place when I was younger.
22. My oldest sister is a psychiatrist in N. Alabama
23. My second sister is a stay at home mom also in N. Alabama and has four boys and one princess! (2 of them are adopted--she's crazy!)
22. My younger brother is a VP of Marketing for a logistics technology company in Austin, TX
23. My youngest sister is a social worker in Sarasota
24. My father became disenchanted with the "politics" of preaching and became a school teacher- he's now retired.
25. My mother is a middle school teacher in Florida. This is her last year before retirement.
26. My parents do lots of mission work and have travelled all over the world including Africa and Europe.
27. My father is an elder.
28. My sister is an elder in the Presbyterian church.
29. My mom grew up in NYC and finished high school in one year.
30. My parents met at Harding... my mom was only 15!!!

My Wife's side of the Family
31. I have THE best mother-in-law in the UNIVERSE-- really!!!
32. My father-in-law passed away the summer before I met my wife-- so I never knew him.
33. My father-in-law "invented" the Whopper!
34. My wife has two sisters-- both of them and their husbands all went to ACU, too.
35. All of my wife's family live in Texas
36. My wife's family owns a beautiful ranch in the Texas Hill Country
37. My wife's family worships at Oak Hills where Max Lucado preaches
38. Max wrote many of his books at my mother-in-laws lake house.
39. Max eventually bought the lake house from my mother-in-law.
40. My kids have four cousins on this side of the family... they're all very close!

Our Little Family
41. Our children attend a private Christian school that is FANTASTIC!!
42. Our daughter is a cheerleader.
43. Our daughter just placed first place in her school science fair
44. Our son is a jock and plays every sport known to man!
45. We spend lots of family time attending our kids events (band concerts, plays, games, etc.)
46. We try to eat EVERY evening meal together... even if it's just a simple meal.
47. We eat out EVERY Sunday... the kitchen is closed! (I grew up eating every Sunday meal at home-- it was always my Mom's biggest and best meal).
48. We have a soft coated wheaten terrier named Bailey.
49. Because we live so far away from all our extended family, "our little family" is very close.
50. We have lots of fun family traditions that would probably be odd to others.

Stuff I Love
51. I love to eat! Especially ethnic food-- Thai is my favorite, with Italian a close second.
52. I love to sing! I've been singing and performing since I was a kid. My wife and I are on our church's praise team.
53. "Trading Spaces", "Designed to Sell" and "Sell this House" I'm addicted to these shows.
54. I love my wife! She's so much better than what I deserve! No question I "married up"!
55. I love jazz-- especially old stuff like Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald. If it's live, all the better!
56. I love to dress well. (I was voted "Best Dressed" in high school). My wife just shredded my Banana Republic card!
57. I love good red wine. Yes, I am a snob.
58. I love having a couple of really, really good friends with whom you can share everything and completely depend on.
59. I love to entertain. We love having people over to our house and showing them an amazing time.
60. I love blogging! It has blessed me in so many ways I could have never imagined.

Stuff I Loathe
61. Closed minded people... especially when it comes to spiritual matters.
62. Legalism-- in any area of life, but especially loathsome in spiritual matters.
63. Tele-marketers-- OK I'm in this business (marketing NOT telemarketing) and there are so many better and more effective ways to connect with potential customers!
64. Laziness-- OK I admit it... I'm a driven person and I expect everyone else to be.
65. Anything done withOUT excellence-- this applies to everything--- work, church, food, service. If you're going to do something, do it with excellence!
66. Slow drivers. Yes, I'm usually late and I hate being late... so get out of my way!
67. Being late. Me or anyone else.
68. People who tear down others instead of building them up! Yes, I have done this and I hated myself for it, too!
69. Rap and heavy metal music. I'm glad it works for somebody, but I've never understood it. Sorry!
70. Guilt! I grew up with and I'm having trouble shaking it!!

I've Never...
71. I've never been to Australia... but I'd like to.
72. I've never been a big baseball fan. My son on the other hand is a MAJOR Cubs fan!
73. I've never eaten snake, alligator or chocolate covered ants.
74. I've never won the lottery.
75. I've never dated more than one girl at a time.
76. I've never jumped out of an airplane
77. I've never understood NASCAR.
78. I've never been to a high school reunion.
79. I've never been to Hawaii or Alaska.
80. I've never wanted to kill myself... maybe others, but never myself! : )

I Wish I Could...
81. Spend more time with my kids.
82. Move my church to my hometown-- driving gets old!
83. Ask God a few questions instead of waiting until later.
84. Be bolder about my Christianity.
85. Play golf-- not better-- at all.
86. Go back to Europe for another 3 weeks with my wife.
87. Take my family to Disney World.
88. Spend the summers at the beach in Florida.
89. Stop anyone from ever hurting my children.
90. Be more like Christ.

Can you believe I...
91. Paid my own way through private college.
92. Get my hair highlighted every 3 months.
93. Have never wanted to wear contacts... Lasik maybe.
94. Went to Argentina on a mission trip for three weeks.
95. Worked in Canada for a month on a TV commercial
96. Have never been on a horse. (... and you call yourself a rancher!)
97. Am a "Mac person" not a "PC person".
98. Serve on three different community Boards
99. Love to garden and didn't mention it before now?
100. Actually did this? Wow... even I'm impressed.

Snow NO!

2005-02-28T12:48:00.000-06:00

I'm sorry... I don't mean to reject or demean God's creation or His sovereign wisdom and will. I understand that He has His reasons and they are CLEARLY higher than mine. However, I see absolutely no good reason for us to get more snow this morning!! I say snow- NO!

It is no longer charming. It isn't sweet or cute. Clearly it is not romantic. We got ALL of that stuff out of our systems already... most of us were done the day after Christmas!

Personally, I blame everyone who has all these cutesy (aka: cheesy!) decorations out with snow men and snow flakes. Come on people... in the South they're already mowing. Put the winter decor up and let's go for some Spring-time stuff.

I know that I-- in personal protest of the weatherman's threat of snow today--removed the decorated sled from our front porch yesterday along with the winter greens that were in the pots on either side of our front door. Also gone is the winter wreath. Clearly, I'm doing my part... what's wrong with the rest of you. I'll say it one more time: Put the winter stuff up!! Put it in a tightly sealed container and store it-- not to be re-opened until the day before Christmas 2005, the next time any of us will need or want snow!

Well, I feel better now that I've got that off my chest.

Seriously, it was starting to get so nice here. Even though it was still cold, we were experiencing beautiful sunny days. The kind of days that fool you into thinking Spring is almost here. I had even gone about two weeks without wearing a coat! The gloves were a thing of the past along with the ice scraper in my car.

Oh well... I am alive and healthy. My God is good and He continues to provide for me and my family in such amazing ways! May He continue to bless you and your family-- whether you're warm, cold or somewhere in between.

Father, thank you for the gift of changing seasons. I do praise your creation-- even snow. Thank you for providing for me in such amazing and faithful ways. Amen.

Stepping Out

2005-02-25T07:49:00.000-06:00

In our Wednesday night "house church" meetings we have been working through-- at a very slow and methodical pace-- "The Purpose Driven Life." It has been a rich, deep and sometimes emotional journey. Last week we began the section on the Holy Spirit (I believe it's chapter 22, but I'm not sure).

That week we had a terrific discussion on recognizing the Spirit in our lives and we were all able to witness to one of our members who felt he had never directly experienced the Spirit before. It was amazing as we went around our circle and each shared all kinds of amazing (and some even kind of weird) ways the Spirit works in each of our individual lives. It was honestly one of the coolest things I've ever been a part of. I shared with this brother that I felt it was really him not know what to look for... so I gave him this example: when my family first bought our Escalade we were amazed at how "suddenly" there were so many other Escalades on the road... of course they were there all the time, but until we knew/thought to look for them they went by us completely unnoticed. I think that analogy really helped him and he was looking forward to sensing the Spirit more in life.

This past week was not as dynamic as the week before, but it was still fascinating. I was especially struck by one specific thought: the Spirit is waiting on us to step out in faith and THEN the Spirit will be there for us. I've always thought-- and acted as if-- it was the other way around: Show me a sign, Spirit, and THEN I'll step out in knowing you want me to.

Wow! I have to really think some more about that... This is a new paradigm for me! I've spent my whole life looking at life from the other perspective: "Show me a sign..."

What are your thoughts on this?

Father, thank you for the gift of your Spirit. Help me to better understand and utilize this precious gift from you, Father. Amen.

Is it showing?

2005-02-21T07:48:00.000-06:00

Sunday was so convicting. I know I've written before about our minister's ability to present God's word in such a convicting and personal manner... and yesterday was especially so! We talked in our Wednesday night class about the Spirit's role in accomplishing that...both through preparing our hearts for that message and in preparing Larry in his delivery of that message.

We have been studying Philippians for awhile now, and yesterday we were in Philippians 2:12-18. Larry's lesson was titled "Stars shining brightly" and it focused on some really great practical "hows" for us to be the light of Christ in our everyday life. One of the things I love about Larry is his ability to teach a passage so that it is so clear and convicting, and then to help you apply to your life in a very practical way. Every week we leave convicted, uplifted and with a plan of how to make the week a better one. It's awesome.

He really challenged me to think about how much light I'm actually providing for Christ in my corner of the world. At work, at home, with my friends, at the grocery store-- am I being the light of Christ? ESPECIALLY the portion about "do everything without complaining or arguing..." I'm afraid I may have flunked that aspect! I really need to work on that area of my life-- especially now that I understand those behaviors/attitudes can be keeping others from seeing Christ in me.

How about you? Do you have trouble with complaining and/or arguing? If so, join me in asking our Father to refine us in that area so that we may bring glory to Him.

Father, thank you for your word and it's convicting power. Thank you for men like Larry who you have gifted to share it with us. Father, I confess that I have been a complainer and an arguer-- forgive me. Bless me this week with an humble, peace-keeping spirit that will shine like a star for you! Amen

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!

2005-02-16T13:21:00.000-06:00

My 7th grade daughter was "bumped up" to the 8th grade cheerleading squad for the State Basketball Tournament. We're so proud of her! Over the past week, we have helped her cheer our team on to the State Championship Finals-- which will be played tomorrow night. How exciting!!

My wife, my son and I rode the "fan bus" to every game of the tournament and it has been lots of fun-- but boy do we feel old! (There's only so much you can take of 50 8th graders screaming and hollering non-stop for two hours.) Actually, they're a great group of kids and we're very proud of their conduct and sportsmanship. As a Christian school, I think the kids/fans get judged harsher than everyone else... but this bunch has done a superb job of representing Christ at every game. In fact, one of the representatives of the host school pulled me aside at last night's game and paid me that exact compliment. I accepted on behalf of all the parents... it was rewarding to know that someone had noticed and that our attitudes were showing through. To God be the glory!

And speaking of victories... my wife and I will officially be debt-free (other than our mortgage) by tomorrow. What a sense of freedom that brings! Now, we must stay focused on maintaining that status and doing more for God with ALL the extra money we will have that will no longer be tied up with making payments!! Praise God!!!

How about you... any victories for you this week?

Father, thank you for allowing us to show your Son through our lives-- even through being good fans. Thank you for gift of financial freedom. May we honor you through that experience. Amen.

Sunshine

2005-02-11T08:59:00.000-06:00

Not to be outdone, the Sun is exceptionally bright today.
Masquerading as summer... defying the winter chill that still hangs in the air.
Glorious.

The river sparkles with life. Ice melted into faint memory. Reflecting His glory.

I close my shades reluctantly, but bask in the warmth.

My scarf and gloves seem silly, but are still necessary.
Bitter cold has less sting when the sun is so bright.

Dancing light on my window. I dream of the months to come, but enjoy today.

Warm and joyful. Grateful and loved.

Snow

2005-02-09T08:22:00.000-06:00

Not a blanket, just a dusting. Magical and white.

The kind that turns the woods behind my house into a Winter Wonderland. And makes the rooftops glisten.

Swirls of smoke leaving chimneys. Ice-caps gliding down the river swiftly.

Geese are long gone. Sweaters are well-worn.

The sun will hide today. The snow rejoices and shines regardless.

Crying out to its Maker. Praise You! Praisie You!

Happiness

2005-02-08T09:54:00.000-06:00

No profound anologies or commentary today... so if you're searching for a real pearl of wisdom or even wit, you might want to click the "Next blog" link above.

I just wanted to share with you that I'm really happy today! I love my wife and she makes me feel so good about myself. I don't deserve someone as wonderful as she is... but God has blessed me with her regardless. I could not ask for a more loving and caring partner in life. She makes me happy!!!!!

And, this morning I got to eat chocolate chip pancakes (with peanut butter on top!) with my kids before school. It was a fund raiser for the Korean Mission Team at school. What a great way to start your day off... having pancakes with your kids! I blew off a client meeting-- called my office and told them I couldn't make the appointment because I was eating breakfast with my kids!

Now if that's not happiness, I don't know what is.

How about you... Have you found happiness today?

Father, thank you for giving me my wife. Thank you for ministering to my heart. Help me to help others find joy today. Amen.

Be careful what you pray for

2005-02-03T10:53:00.000-06:00

In my last post titled "Focus" I wrote about my son and his lessons from Karate-- and my own lessons on focus. Well, little did I know I was about to get a first-hand lesson in "focus"-- literally.

This past Saturday as I rolled out of bed threw on a pair of sweats and a ball cap (my weekend "uniform"), I had no idea what experience lay ahead of me. Clutching my Starbucks and still half asleep, I walked with my son into the dojo for his karate lesson. I noticed there were lots of extra people there and many of them had cameras.

"What's going on?" I mumbled to myself. "Why are all these people here... there's nowhere for me to sit!" I grumbled under my breath.

"OK, Parents... go ahead and be taking off your shoes and socks and stand behind your child on the mat. Be sure to bow on before stepping onto the mat," the leader of the Karate school announced to all the eager parents.

"WHAT?!" I said to myself-- out-loud. "What is this"... I thought to myself.... "what is going on?" Gulping the last of my Venti Americano, I stooped to pull off my shoes and socks. "I can't believe I'm doing this," I said to myself. "I'm not in the mood for this... and I don't really feel like being humiliated in front of all these parents," I popped off in my head.

"FOCUS!" commanded the head instructor.

And then it hit me-- you asked for this buddy. You blogged about it, you prayed about it-- you even asked others to pray about it.

OK... so to make a very long story (an excruciating hour-and-a-half to be exact), it was a great experience. My son and I had a bast together. I was focused on him (when I wasn't focused on blocking the pain signals emanating from every muscle in my body) and we definitely bonded.

As an added bonus, there was a competition at the end with all the dads competing and all the moms competing. I'm proud to say-- and my son was even prouder-- that I was ranked third out of all the dads. Not bad if I say so myself.

Father, thank you for your love. Thank you for providing for us as we ask of you. Thank you again for the gift of my son... and for the unbelievable gift of you Son. Amen.

Focus

2005-01-28T07:47:00.000-06:00

My eight year-old son has been struggling a little lately with getting and staying focused-- especially at school (Hmmmm.... I wonder where he might have gotten that from? Hmmmm. I'm sorry.... where was I?)

We recently enrolled him karate lessons partially to help him develop better self-discipline, partially to help channel his energy, and partially just for the fun of it! He is very athletic and competitive, which are helpful traits in karate. He has quickly advanced from white belt to orange belt to gold belt-- all in a matter of only two months. It is interesting that in the environment of his karate class how extremely focused he becomes. Laser like focus.

Focus is an absolute in karate. If the head instructor notices a child not focused he will announce abruptly, "FOCUS!" That child-- and usually the entire class-- snaps to a specific "focus position." It's exciting to watch and see the transformation that is taking place.

However, it appears he is still struggling with apply those disciplines to other areas of his life, like school. Yesterday was a particularly bad day for him, and he wound up in the principal's office for his behavior. Apparently his color tag went from green to yellow to red. It's really not a big deal, the principal has a short conference with the child, allows them to apologize and ask for forgiveness, and then prays with them before sending them back to class.

We've been very busy lately as a family-- I've been traveling a lot for business, and our daughter is a cheerleader and has about 3 games per week. We've been trying to be supportive of her and attend each of those games. She had a game last night... but in light of what happened with our son at school we decided that we should "divide and conquer." So my wife went to the game, and I stayed home with my son.

In other words--- I FOCUSED on him. DUH!!! Here I am all concerned about him learning the "focus lesson," all the while I'm the one who REALLY needs it! What was I thinking?

We had a great and FOCUSED evening together. We turned off the TVs, computers, X-box and every other gadget... lit the fireplace and worked on his homework together. Then we did math flash cards, but we made this really cool game out of it. Next we read just about every book from his room to each other. We ended the night by talking about what had happened that day and what some of his struggles are all about. It was a blast! And, I know that I have not been that FOCUSED on just him in a very long time.

Lesson learned.

Father, thank you for the gift of my son. Help me to be a focused and caring father. Thank you for your example. Thank you for loving me and him. Amen.

Restless Heart

2005-01-26T08:18:00.000-06:00

I don't know exactly what it is... but I feel so restless today. Actually, that isn't a very accurate or full description of how I'm feeling-- but I don't know of a better or more descriptive term for it.

In my prayer time this morning, I confessed that I felt somehow restless deep down in my soul-- and that it troubled me. Mostly because I don't know where this feeling is coming from. It's even hard to express exactly how I feel-- but I do know that God knows. I just asked Him to fill the void and to minister to my spirit.

And I trust He will.

Father, thank you for your spirit who interprets my groanings and has words when I have none. Fill me with your peace.
Amen.

Joy & Contentment

2005-01-24T13:54:00.000-06:00

It seems lately that whenever God wants my attention He's been using a sledgehammer; not literally, but quite figuratively. I've got the bruises to show for it.

For the past couple of weeks we've been studying Philipians at church. Along side of that, we've started a new Sunday school class on Christian financial issues using the Crown Ministries materials. This week (yesterday) it seemed that both class and services we're another sledgehammer from God. The main themes were on contentment (one of the main issues behind debt) and true joy.

I definitely felt the Spirit ministering to my heart as people shared different thoughts and views on how we as Americans and Christians are constantly searching for "things" that will bring us contentment and joy. I know for a fact that I have sought to find both contentment and joy from things. Things that break, fade, go out of style and have put me in debt.

Paul, in Philipians, tells us to find contentment not in things or even our situation, but in knowing who's we are. We can rejoice in ANY situation, because ultimately, we belong to God... we've been bought by His Son. And that, regardless of how rich or poor we are-- or how healthy or sick we are-- or how thin or fat we are-- is THE ONLY THING we can find TRUE joy in.

When I think of how much time I have wasted trying to accomplish things or trying to be something I'm really not. Or how much money I've wasted trying to buy things that would bring me temporary joy. It's sad, really.

Only the thought that He loves me regardless of my wasted time, tears and money can snap me out of that depressing thought and bring me joy... REAL JOY.

Father, thank you for loving me despite my faults. Thank you for show me where I can find true joy and contentment. Help me to always look to you first. Help me to learn to love you more and to turn to you more. Amen

Got Prayer?

2005-01-13T16:51:00.000-06:00

This week, God has been impressing upon me the power of prayer.

My week began with several of my fellow bloggers really needing prayer. I was drawn to praying for them in that moment... so I reached out to them across the pixels and prayed over them (writing a prayer to them) rather than the obligatory "you'll be in my prayers" response I've given a million times before.

Later in the week my wife and I prayed together as we began a new study of the Bible (one of our New Year commitments) using the "Message" translation. It is amazing how powerful your prayers can be when offered together as an intimate couple. We definitely will be praying together more often.

And then last night, our mid-week fellowship at church was focused on-- you guessed it-- prayer. One of our sisters offered some of her thoughts on having a more powerful prayer life. Then as a body, we all knelt together and had a time of spontaneous prayer. It was absolutely beautiful as all these different individuals poured their hearts out to God. It was quite moving at times. And it was very powerful.

Thank you God for the power of prayer. Thank you for giving us this amazing path to you. Help me to take greater advantage of the power you offer through prayer. Amen.

e-Blessed!

2005-01-10T17:40:00.000-06:00

This has been such an unusual day... but such a blessed day.

I have been able to e-bless and even e-pray for several different people today-- one who lives an hour away from me, another who lives 17 hours away from me. Both of these people were really hurting and struggling today... and thanks to their blogs, I was able to know that and to be able to pray over them. What a tremendous blessing blogging has become in my life and so many others.

As I read through all of my usual blogs today I realized there are so many people out there hurting-- who I can help encourage and be a blessing to. And, there are so many out there discovering wonderful things about God's word and His will for their life-- and they are blessing me!

It's just awesome how God is providing for us to reach out to one another and comfort each other across the many miles and even time zones!! Our "church family" is growing and able to transcend miles! Thank you all for ministering to me through your blog and mine. It has become such a source of blessing in my life and I just want to thank God for doing this in my life!!

Thank you God for ministering to my heart today through the blogs. Thank you for everyone who might come across this blog today... bless them in all they are doing. Amen.

Black Leather Gloves

2005-01-06T14:02:00.000-06:00

Yesterday morning, as I attempted to scrape the 3/4" thick ice off my windshield, I was grateful for my stylish black leather gloves-- or at least so I thought.

Those of you in the South may not be able to appreciate this, and you veteran Northerners are already laughing... but about three or four minutes into the process, my leather gloves were soaked! Not only were they basically worthless, they were actually causing my fingers to get even colder as the moisture penetrated the leather. Worse yet, not only did the gloves not work for the job, now that they were soaking wet they no longer appeared stylish either. Basically, they were worthless!

I rushed back into the house and grabbed my REAL winter gloves-- the non-stylish version-- and finished the job quickly with warm hands to boot. As I drove cautiously to work through the slushy and icy streets I looked over at my poor shriveled up gloves... wet and wrinkled.

I thought about how the gloves might be a metaphor for much of my life. On the outside they might look great... but were they really worth anything? Did they have a function or a purpose? Would they actually help in any way? I began to think about all the times I have been so focused (sometimes even consumed) by my, and others, outward appearances. Opting for form over function. Concentrating on how I appeared rather than what I was actually doing or accomplishing. How my worship looked or sounded rather than where my heart was.

This year I want to be more focused on the things that matter in life! I want to lead a life of purpose... I want to be more centered on serving God regardless of what I might "look like" in the process. Style is great, as long as it works, too.

Father, thank you for your love and mercy. Thank you for revealing yourself to me-- even in everyday things. Bless me with a renewed heart and focus for serving you and your Kingdom. Amen.

New Year, New Hope

2005-01-04T08:16:00.000-06:00

Well, we all made it through the holidays! I do love Christmas and spending time with family-- but it seems like I heard a LOT of people this year (myself included) expressing some kind of difficulty with the holidays. For some it was the budget crunch, for others it was feelings of depression, while others dealt with loss or broken relationships. For some, it was just the ordinary frustration of spending too much time with extended family or too much time at the dinner table.

But with the New Year always comes a time of re-generation... new hope. Somehow, for me at least, the hope of the new year always erases any disappointments or disillusions from the holidays.

Of course we all make our New Year's resolutions-- most of which will probably be broken by February. I know I've made a few myself, including getting my weight under control (Lord, why did you make me to love food so much?!). But this year, I want to be more focused on renewing myself spiritually.

In this new year, I want to choose to live my life with greater purpose and intent. As I look back over last year, there are great spans of time I can't really account for... they just happened. This year I want to be more accountable for my time-- I honestly think its a bigger challenge of stewardship for most of us than money.

In doing so, I want to spend more time with my children and my wife, less time with the TV. I want to be more involved with church and serving, less involved with work and endless committees. I want to spend more time reading the Word and my growing library of Christian books, less time reading magazines and newspapers.

How about you? Any challenges for you this new year?

Thank you Father for your gift of new hope, which you extend to us continuously. Thank you for the gift of time, help me this new year to be a better steward. Amen.

Going Home for Christmas

2004-12-21T16:03:00.000-06:00

Well, it's hard to believe, but tomorrow morning we will be packing up the Escalade and heading south to my Mom and Dad's house in Florida for Christmas with the family. I'm really exciting about getting away for awhile-- and especially to be "going home."

My parents still live in the house that I grew up in (well from 5th grade on) and I have many wonderful memories of Christmases past and other wonderful family times there. Unfortunately, our whole family will not be gathering together this year. A horrible rift has split our family in two and for the fifth year we will not all be together. I will, as I have been coaching my parents to do, focus on those who are there and enjoy their company. However, I would be lying if I said I won't be sad at the same time. Sad that my other siblings and their families choose not to come-- and perhaps even sadder that "irreconcilable differences" exist that seem to prevent us from ever being together again as a "whole family." I pray that this year will be a year of healing for our family and that somehow God will use the spririt of this Christmas season to bring us back together.

As I've gotten older, I've learned to appreciate the real value of family. And I've also learned that "family" comes in many forms. In addition to my immediate and extended family, I have a family at work, a church family--- and now a blog family.

Happy Holidays, blog family. May God bless you richly during the Christmas season and may you feel the presence of His Son in your life more vividly than ever before.

This will probably be my last blog until the New Year-- so Happy New Year, too.

Father, thank you for the gift of family. Thank you for sending your son to dwell among us. Amen.

More Blessed to Give?

2004-12-15T13:51:00.000-06:00

I had a long discussion with my Dad yesterday about some of my thoughts and internal conflicts regarding Christmas and what it has become. We talked about everything from personal greed to corporate greed to the economic impact of Christmas shopping. It was an interesting conversation with plenty of sparks on both sides.

I guess the real emphasis of our conversation, though, was about our own family and how we are currently choosing to celebrate the holiday-- in particular in terms of how we exchange gifts. We currently are all buying gifts for everyone in our family, which I happen to think is silly and a financial burden on everyone. There are five siblings in my family and together we have a total of 15 children. So, doing the math-- including my parents, my siblings and their spouses and all my nieces and nephews-- it's a grand total of 23 gifts! Even at a modest budget of only $20 per gift, that's nearly $500-- and at $50 per gift that over $1,000! AND that's only one side of anyone's family-- and doesn't include anyone's own individual family.

I argued with my Dad that it was silly for all of us to be putting this kind of pressure on ourselves and our families. I suggested that rather than incur debt or endure hardship, we re-think how we handle Christmas in our family and maybe adopt the common practice of drawing names or perhaps even go to a system of giving "family" gifts rather than individual gifts. My Dad counter-argued that neither my Mom nor my two older sisters would ever go for such an arrangement. I argued back-- "even though it's a financial hardship on them... you still think they wouldn't be willing to change?" (I should insert here... I know for a fact that it IS a true financial hardship on them and me, even though no one wants to admit it!)

This was my Dad's reply: "Well, maybe it's the fact that for them, it's more blessed to give than receive and they feel a blessing by giving-- especially when they are giving sacrificially."

Hmmm... that response did not set well with me.

First of all, who can REALLY give in the true spirit of that verse when they are stressed about their finances? And furthermore, I really don't think it's fair or accurate to apply that verse to Christmas gift exchanges-- I understand that verse in Acts to be about helping those who are weak and truly needy-- having a sacrificial/servant's heart and attitude about giving of our means. In my opinion, if we want to REALLY apply that scripture, we would COMPLETELY forego our gift exchange and instead give our gifts to a truly needy family.

Secondly, I would argue that it is very difficult to receive a gift from someone when you know their giving caused them a hardship. Did they have to do without? Did their children? Did they max out a credit card to give me this gift? I love my family, and I don't want any of them to do that for me... it's just absolutely senseless! It's a sacrifice that is not worth making!

Thirdly, I would argue that being a martyr and giving regardless of consequence is not good stewardship. Not that I'm perfect in that department either, but I just don't see the point in over-extending for the "honor" of giving Christmas gifts! It's a misplaced value in my mind.

And finally, I question whether in every case it really is more blessed to give than to receive. When God gave us the ultimate gift of His Son, our only response is to graciously accept His gift. We can not give back enough-- ever-- to deserve that gift or to make up for that indebtedness. Sometimes I think we try-- and we may even do so while quoting this verse.

I would just like to spend a relaxing week with my family and focus on the gift of each other's presence. My favorite gift at this year's family Christmas will be just being able to be together with my family-- laughing, pulling out old photos and videos, telling stories and creating memories. It's a gift that won't cost anything, yet will truly be priceless.

Father, thank you for your good and perfect gift of your Son. Help us all to be good stewards and to be more aware of those around us who are truly needy. Bless our family gathering-- and all the other gatherings around the globe. Amen.

Truly Thankful

2004-12-14T07:49:00.000-06:00

This morning as I sat shivering in my car waiting for it to warm up before leaving for work, I started to complain about how cold my leather seats were and how unfair it was that my wife had "bun warmers" in both the front AND rear seats of her new car. Poor pitiful me!

As I looked down at my gloved hands, the thought hit me... I am so blessed and have so much to be thankful for. I have a car (with leather seats!), the gas tank is full, I have a job to go to, I have a warm coat and gloves. Then I thought of all the homeless and economically disadvantaged people in our community. My three minutes of cold leather seats juxtaposed to their cold night on the streets with no coat or gloves-- and probably no hope either.

I felt a little like the Grinch in that moment this morning. Who am I? And what have I become? Am I really this selfish and discontented? Do I really need bun warmers to be happy? Can't I make it from my warm house to my well-paying job without complaining?

I want to challenge each of you, as I am challenging myself, to find contentment in this season. We are such blessed people... we are ridiculously blessed with physical blessings, we have wonderful families who love us unconditionally, and we have a Father who has already given us EVERYTHING we truly need-- His Son, our Savior.

Father, thank you for my lesson in contentment and gratitude this morning. Bless the homeless and less fortunate people of our community. Motivate me to do more than I am currently doing to help them. Thank you for the gift of your Son Jesus. Amen.

Christmas Lists

2004-12-10T07:43:00.000-06:00

I don't know how the rest of the world feels, but I'm against Christmas lists. "Put it on your list," or "What's on your list?" or "Make me a list."

I'm sorry, but the very thought of all that just bothers me. Don't get me wrong... I LOVE Christmas and my favorite part of the holiday is the gift giving... it's just this list-making business that bugs me.

"Make me a list"-- so I don't have to think about you and what you might want... or because I'm so busy I don't even know you well enough to know the desires of your heart! Or, because buying you a gift is a simple chore, just like grocery shopping or errand running.

"Put it on your list."-- I really loathe this one. I actually know people with lists that contain over 100 items. Give me a break! Aren't we setting up some false expectations here-- and not just for Christmas morning, I mean for life in general. What ever you want... just put it on your list. There, that's simple enough.

"What's on your list?"-- In other words, I'm too busy and otherwise preoccupied to actually think about you and find something that would be a token of my love for you. Or, I'm so insecure in my relationship with you, I want to be sure you really, really, like and WANT what I give you. Is this really what Christmas and giving is supposed to be about? Not to me!

This year, I'm gonna try and follow God's example... he knew me well enough to know exactly what I wanted and needed for my gift-- Christ the Lord!

Thank you Father for your good and perfect gift of Christ! Amen.

Winter Morning

2004-12-09T07:46:00.000-06:00

This morning was quiet and crisp. There was no snow on the ground or even in the trees. But my breath hung in the air as a puff of smoke. Not cold enough for a big coat, but too cold for just a jacket-- frost covered my windshield. Gloves are my friend today.

The sunrise spreading over the horizon is beautiful. The river is still and looks chilly, but the hues of orange, pink and purple warm it as they reflect the sunrise. A couple of lost Canadian geese glide across the river like a pair of ice skaters. Are they lost or did they decide sitting outside my office window was their place to settle down?

My small space heater keeps my toes warm and toasty. As I adjust its settings I think of the people out there who don't have a way to stay warm this winter. My heart is sad and at the same time content and thankful. I will donate my old coats to the Salvation Army this year.

The smell of coffee coming down the hall snaps me back to work life. I will be happy and pleasant today. I'll do my best to be as warm as the sunrise and as peaceful as the geese.

Thank you Lord for the everyday beauty of my life. Thank you for the reminders of how truly good my life is. Amen.

Hair

2004-12-08T11:39:00.000-06:00

Ok... to be honest, I never thought the topic of my hair was blog-worthy, but apparently it has become such.

I don't know if this is linked to turning 40 or just a lapse in scheduling... maybe you can decide for me. Here is how the story goes.

The last time I got my hair cut, my wife and kids were also there getting hair cuts as well-- so it was kind of a circus. In the flurry of activity, I neglected to make my next appointment-- which I always religiously do every three weeks. I've learned that if I don't, it can take five or more weeks to get "worked in" by my over-booked stylist.

So, this is how this saga all began... I forgot to book my next appointment and three weeks later, when I should have been getting my hair cut, I was instead begging for an appointment.

My stylists, bless her heart, did her best to work me in as soon as possible, which as it turns out was last night. During the five days leading up to that time, I had hair that was too long to quaff into its normal style-- spiky hair that sticks up. I guess you could say that it's become my trademark-- blonde, spiky hair.

So, I figure-- I'm a creative guy, surely I can improvise a different way to style my hair until my next appointment... it's only five days! I started by combing my hair forward and applying the same styling pomade. I thought it looked pretty cool, and my style consultants (aka: my two children) agreed. It was a two-thumbs-up new style for me. My wife however; just rolled her eyes and said "whatever!" I've always found that phrase so helpful. The next inspection point would take place at work. I got mixed reviews, but most people claimed they really liked it and thought it made me look younger. Hmmmm... did I mention I'm the boss and all these people report to me?

So, I wore my hair like this for the next two days; however, I was afraid to sport this new style at church. So for church, I improvised yet another style. My church doo was a much more conservative look... I basically parted my hair on the side and opted for the more conservative mouse as opposed to the more radical pomade product. Everyone at church noticed... don't know if they liked it or not, but they definitely noticed. Well, then we happened to have Praise Team practice that afternoon for an upcoming recital for one of our members. I should state here that this is a very close and verbal group. So, my hair and it current and potential state and style became the topic of discussion. Amazingly, everyone had an opinion on my hair and what I should and should not do with it. It was hilarious!

Then at work, I decided to sport the church-doo and see what people thought of the conservative me vs. the wild me. Again, everyone noticed. Some like it better, some thought the other was better, while still others thought I should quickly return to my original spiky style.

So last night, I confessed to my stylist that I had actually enjoyed all the hair attention... and that I had decided to go for a new style. So, I opted to go for a longer style that would allow me to wear my hair forward ("wild style") and also would be able to spike up, too.

So, I'm sure there will be some who like it and some who don't. Probably others who could care less. I know at least one of my coworkers who thinks regardless of style, I'm blessed at 40 to still have hair!

So, here I am... after almost 8 years of wearing the spiky trademark hair moving on to a new style. I think it was probably time.

Thank you Lord for my hair... and most importantly for knowing me so well that you even know how many hairs I have. And for loving me unconditionally, whether my hair is spiked, parted or combed forward. Amen.

Little Angels

2004-12-06T09:07:00.000-06:00

Well, the children's musical, "Angel Alert: The Night that Heaven Came Down," was a smashing success last night! I was so proud of all the children-- they all came so far in such a short time. It was a very rewarding experience to see how the musical transformed so many of them from frightened and bashful kids into real performers! What a blessing to see and hear all those angels!

I was exceedingly proud of my own two children, who both had leads and solos in the musical. They both did an exceptional job! And all of my wife's design and decorating talents were on display in the staging and the program. It was a wonderful evening, full of blessing and worship.

Since this is a new church home for us, we did not know many of the children and families. The musical has given us an opportunity to get to them much better. The kids are all so sweet... and I love that they all know me by name now. There's something special about getting hugs and high-fives from all the little ones.

I'd be lying if I said that I'm not glad the musical is finally over-- because I am! But it has been a wonderful and extremely rewarding experience for me and my whole family.

Thank you God for the gift of music. Thank you for the gift of your Son, which gives us all something to sing about! Amen.

Hanging Stars

2004-12-02T08:39:00.000-06:00

Last night we put the finishing touches on the set of our children's Christmas musical at church by hanging stars from the 40' ceiling. I sat out in the middle of the auditorium and supervised the painstaking process... I don't do ladders at that height. As I sat there, I had to pinch myself... was this really happening? A musical at church? A CHRISTMAS musical at church? Wow...

Having grown up in a traditional Church of Christ background this is my first ever Christmas musical-- and that is so very sad to me. I am so very thankful that God has led me and my family to this church and that I am able to use my talents to glorify God in this way. I can barely describe how awesome a feeling it is to be a part of this... and to watch both of my children have leading roles in the production. I am proud-- proud of their talents-- but more importantly, proud that they are being given the opportunity to glorify God with their talents. Unlike me, they will grow up being able to express their artistic and creative talents in a church setting. Praise God!

I'm deeply moved at my journey and where God has brought me. Hanging stars may not seem like a big deal to some people, but for me it was monumental-- a life-changing experience.

Father, help me to always use my talents to glorify you. Thank you for leading me to Northside. Thank you that my children are being raised in this positive and nurturing environment. Thank you for your Son and for sending Him to earth. Thank you for the Bethlehem star. Amen.

Pierced Heart

2004-12-01T14:19:00.000-06:00

This morning I awoke to more snow on the ground. It was still and peaceful. I decided to sit down in the living room and look out the front windows at the winter wonderland that was created while I slept last night.

In front of me on the coffee table laid the family bible, opened and marked by a velvet ribbon and an ornate cross. For some reason the Word cried out to me. I walk past that table and Bible at least 10 times everyday, but for some reason this morning, it cried out to me-- Read me.

Since I felt such an urging to read the Bible, I thought there might be some significance to the passage that was marked. I picked up the Bible and noticed it was turned to I Corinthians, Chapter 3. I began reading. The family Bible is a modern version (I forget exactly which one) that is very easy to read and understand. I love reading out of it, because it always seems so fresh and relevant. This morning was certainly no exception.

I read this passage like I was reading it for the first time. And my heart was pierced. God's word was truly alive... it was penetrating my heart. It was exactly what I needed to hear-- not what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to hear.

I'm so utterly amazed at how God and His Spirit will work in our lives if we will only slow down long enough and clear the clutter out of our lives to hear.

Oh God, you have pierced my heart. You have my attention. Thank you for knowing me and loving me anyway. Thank you for your word and the comfort of your Spirit. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Amen.

Turkey, Snow & Thanksgiving

2004-11-30T08:00:00.000-06:00

The day before Thanksgiving began with soft, beautiful snow flurries. Tiny little flakes swirling around innocently through the air. It was a nice Northern winter welcome to my mother-in-law who was visiting us from Texas for the holiday. We thought little about the sweet little flurries and went on about our busy day-before-Thanksgiving activities.

After running a series of errands we had worked up an appetite and decided to take "Granny" to her favorite restaurant here, an excellent BBQ restaurant overlooking our river-front and the downtown skyline. By this time the flurries had turned into rain; however, as we ate looking out the windows at the river we noticed the rain turning into snow. No longer flurries, this was serious snow.

We still thought little about the snow and mostly enjoyed it's beauty as it began to cover the bare trees along the river's banks. When we finished our lunch and left the restaurant, we were surprised at how much snow had actually fallen. We realized this was quickly getting to be a much more serious snow than the flurries that began our day.

We needed to run two final, but very important errands, and then we would head home to start the pre-cooking activities. On our way to pick-up our smoked turkey from the local smokehouse the snowfall increased and traffic on the interstate came to a standstill. The side of the road and the ditches were littered with stranded cars and vehicles that had slid off the road. A twenty minute jaunt turned into an hour and a half journey. "This better be a really good turkey," one of my children quipped.

As light faded into darkness on our return trip home (which normally would have taken about 25 minutes) was even more perilous. "We should have just stayed home," my wife lamented. "God is taking care of us," my mother-in-law encouraged. Two hours later, we arrived safely at home. My mother-in-law was right, God was taking care of us-- and He had taught us all a very valuable lesson about trust and mostly thankfulness.

We realized then, how much we have to be thankful for... a God who is the great provider, and a loving and caring family, and food in bounty.

Thank you Lord for your caring arms that surround us--even in the storm. Thank you for the love of family and for the abundant way in which you provide for us everyday. Amen.

Turning Forty

2004-11-29T08:03:00.000-06:00

Well, it was sort of the UN-event of the decade. Not that others (especially my wife, kids and coworkers) didn't do their very best to make a bigger deal out of the event-- because they did! Despite the black balloons, over-the-hill plates and napkins, and the proverbial old-age gag gifts, to me turning 40 just wasn't a very big deal.

I guess I'm just grateful to be here. I'm grateful for all that God has blessed me with: my health, a great family who loves me unconditionally, great friends, a good job, a wonderful church, a beautiful house, and too many material blessings to begin to enumerate.

My birthday is always "part of" the Thanksgiving festivities, which is nice, and this one was special as I got to celebrate it with my mother-in-law who was in from Texas for the Holidays. Of course, we also celebrated my birthday last Sunday night with our house church, and then again at work with my coworkers.

Here's to the next 40 years-- may God continue to bless me as richly as He has for the first 40... and may I bless others as well.

Thank you Lord, for the gift of life. Thank you for giving me 40 wonderful years. Amen.

Bye-Bye Thirty

2004-11-22T08:00:00.000-06:00

Today is it... my last day to be in my thirties. I've been hanging on tight this past year, but the time has finally come.

Actually, I'm looking forward to it. I know some people get really hung up on age, but that has never been a big deal for me. I guess I've been blessed in that regard. When I was younger, I was so much taller than everyone else, people always assumed I was older than I really was-- great when you're under 20. Then, as I got a little older (30-39) people always assumed I was much younger than I really was. So, at least up until this point, age has never been a big issue for me.

I'm really grateful for where I am right now, too. I know some people have trouble with this age because they are unhappy with where they are in life at this point. But quite frankly, I'm far better off than I could have ever imagined.

I have a wonderful wife who loves me deeply in-spite of all my faults. I have two beautiful children who have Christ living in their hearts. I have a church family who's the best group of friends anyone could ever hope for. And I have a job that's truly rewarding and financially satisfying. Add onto that the fact that I have lots of good friends, my health, and an extended family that's always there for me... and I'm a very blessed man.

I guess I'm ready to turn 40. It is a major milestone, but somehow I have this feeling that it will simply be another day. A day in which I intend to choose to live for the Lord.

Father, thank you for all your blessings. Thank you for the gift of life. I thank you that I can find contentment today, the eve of my 40th birthday. Thank you for how you have surrounded me with loving and caring people. Amen.

Meanwhile back at the ranch...

2004-11-13T16:24:00.000-06:00

Sorry for my unannounced extended leave of absence. I'm fine, just got a little bit side-tracked with work.

I run a small ad agency (18 employees) and one of my senior managers resigned a month ago to go over to the "client side" of the business. So for the past two weeks, I 've been doing my job and his job-- and looking for a replacement! And on top of all that, we had two enormous projects going on, so the timing of his departure was not well planned-- OK, so it wasn't planned at all! So, no harm... several of you have e-mailed that you were concerned about me since I had not been blogging like usual. I think I've dug myself out of all the back-logged paper work... we made it through the two big projects... and just maybe, life can return to normal (whatever that is!).

So, what happened while I was gone? Any babies? Marriages? Did anyone solve all the world's problems? What great life lessons did I miss? Fill me in... I want a full replay of the past two weeks of my life.

I missed all of your encouragement, and I missed reading what was going on in your lives, too. I really like this little blog world we've created.

Looking forward to catching back up.

Take care and God bless you!

Father, thank you for guiding me through the chaos of the past few weeks. Thank you for the love and concern of my good firends. Thank you for granting me peace in this situation. Continue to bless our search for a replacement, and continue to bless our efforts. Amen.

Flying & Singing

2004-10-28T07:57:00.000-05:00

This morning as I pulled into the parking lot of my office the fog rising off the river called out to me. Typically, I rush into the office disregarding the fact that I'm 15 steps from the beautiful Illinois River. But this morning was different. Instead of feeling rushed, I felt drawn to the river. It seemed to have an almost spiritual quality-- cold, grey and foggy.

I walked over to the river, deep in thought and still in prayer (my ride to work is always a time of intense prayer for me... and sometimes it lasts until I step off the elevator into my office).

As I approached the river, I was surprised by the stillness of the moment. It was quiet and tranquil. A train whistle blew faintly somewhere in the distance. The muffled traffic crossing the near-by bridge provided a low and constant background sound. Most of the trees lining the river had long since surrendered their leaves and blew silently in the breeze. There were no boats on the river this morning, but it slowly marked its time regardless.

Standing there in the cool, crisp autumn air I felt a sense of calm and peace. I thanked God for the beauty of His creation-- and this setting in particular. I invited God, as I often do, to use this moment and this setting to teach me something. And in that moment I noticed something I hadn't noticed earlier.

Flying all around me was a flock of seagulls. There must have been 50 to 75 of them. They were circling the river high above my head. The gulls starting singing. I thought about how odd it is that we have seagulls here in Central Illinois. They no doubt come up on the barges from the Gulf (via the Mississippi) and for whatever reason stay here. Maybe they are lost, or maybe they lack the ability to migrate back on their own. I don't know for sure, but I do know they seem lost and out of place here... especially now that it has turned cold and winter is approaching.

But what I noticed, and what I think God was saying to me, was that even-though they are far away from home and maybe even lost-- they are flying and singing.

Flying and singing... exactly what gulls do. And these gulls were doing it, just as if they were on the sunny beach in California or Florida.

God has created me for my own flying and singing... but I often don't. Maybe it's because I feel lost... or far from home. Or maybe because I've had a bad day. Or maybe I'm just not awake yet. But I believe He wants me to let go of all my fears, anger, and hang-ups and fly and sing.

Father, thank you for the stillness of this morning. Thank you for showing me the contentment of the gulls. Father, I will fly and sing for you! Amen.

Trust 101

2004-10-26T16:37:00.000-05:00

I guess God thinks I need a refresher in trust, because He sure is testing me right now. There is so much going on in my life, so many decisions-- both personal, professional and spiritual-- that the only way I can survive this period is to just surrender the whole thing and put my trust in Him.

Having said that, it's a minute-by-minute struggle for me. One minute I'm feeling great about leaving it all up to God, resting firm in His capable and caring arms. And then in the next minute, I'm feeling out of control and full of doubt that there might be one more thing I should still be doing on my end. I know it sounds silly, but I'm being honest.

I know what you're thinking... hurry up and learn the lesson idiot, and then get on with your life. I know, I know.

All I can say is I'm working on it, and TRUSTING that God will be patient and loving with me... just like He always has been before.

How about you? What 101 courses are you currently enrolled in?

Father, thank you for loving me enough to continue loving me! Thank you for helping me see that I really can trust you... always and with everything. Amen

Wounds

2004-10-25T09:32:00.000-05:00

At our men's retreat (see blog titled "Ouch" dated Oct. 18th) we discussed the impact and wide-spread influence of wounds that were inflicted on us some time deep in our pasts. These wounds which have been inflicted on us by our parents, childhood bullies, or even old girlfriends have all had an influence on the kind of man we are today. And, how we have chosen to deal with those wounds (or not deal with them as the case may be) greatly impacts our daily walk with God and our relationships with our spouses, children and other friends and family.

We even did an exercise to explore what wounds we still have that we have not been able to properly heal. And then we thought about how those wounds were impacting us today. It was actually a very painful and difficult exercise. We also talked about how we might be anesthetizing our pain from these wounds-- and how that might be impacting our relationships. Again, a very difficult exercise.

One of the things I thought about is how deeply painful those wounds still are today. And how profoundly they have impacted my entire life. However, I think the greatest challenge for me came when we talked about how we as husbands and fathers have the responsibility and opportunity to protect our families from being wounded. Knowing the pain a wound can inflict on someone's entire life, we must take extreme care not to inflict any wounds on our spouse or children.

I think I failed at that this weekend. I did and said some things to my wife and children that were hurtful. The conversations probably needed to take place, but the way in which I chose to have those conversations was very hurtful and inflicted pain on the whole family. I don't know why this is such a weakness for me. I love my family so much... why would allow anything to hurt them-- especially myself? I am a perfectionist, and my expectations of others just is not reasonable. I won't go into any details-- because they're really insignificant-- but the issues stem from that. And I recognize that my issues with perfectionism actually have to do with some of my childhood wounds. Wow! This really is a major issue in our lives.

I would ask that all of you pray for me in my journey to better deal with my issues-- and more importantly, to be the kind of loving and nurturing father and husband that God has called me to be. I can't do it alone, but through my Father, I know I can do all things!

Father, forgive me. Thank you for your love that is so all encompassing and forgiving, Thank you for giving me such an amazing wife and such precious children-- they really are gifts from you. Please show me how to love my family with your love. Protect my family and let them see how much I do love them. Give me the courage to do the right things and to order my life to be in your will and not my own. Amen

Darkness

2004-10-20T17:07:00.000-05:00

It happened so subtly that it took a couple of weeks for me to really notice.

Everyday, it has slowly been getting darker earlier and earlier. Minute by minute, the darkness has crept in. A little later for the sun to rise in the morning. Just a moment or two sooner the sun sets each night. Now, it seems it is never fully bright. It is dark when I leave home for work and dark when I leave work for home. It makes me tired. I feel as if I should be in bed rather than working, laughing or talking.

Perhaps I didn't notice at first because I was so enthralled with the beauty of autumn. Brilliant leaves in yellow, orange, red and gold. Or perhaps it was the dip in the temperatures that were distracting. I love the chill of autumn air-- and I gloated as I dug out all my turtlenecks, sweaters and sweatshirts.

But now, it is dark. Definitely dark.

Could this be how my life is? I find myself temporarily enamored with the beauty and allure of sin that I miss the fact that the light is gone. And then, without realizing that anything has happened, I find myself lost in the darkness.

Lord, send your light into my life now and always. Make your word a light unto my path. Let your spirit direct my heart. Let your light shine through me. Amen.

Wennie Roast

2004-10-19T10:26:00.000-05:00

What could be more perfect on a beautiful autumn evening than a Weenie Roast.

An intimate circle of your dearest and closest friends huddled around the fire singing praise songs from memory because it's too dark to see your make-shift song books. Hot dogs roasted over a fire with Kevin's chile from Velvet Freeze, Debbie's world-famous 239 Beans (one more an they'd be 240--- read it with a Boston accent and maybe you'll get it!), Deanie's apples right off the tree from Tanner's Orchard and dipped in delicious carmel, Tom's home-made banana ice cream and our newest addition-- the Conway's roasted pepperoni-- you have to try it to know how awesome it really is! And of course, what weenie roast would be complete without S'mores?!? What a blast!

We had a wonderful time telling tall tales and laughing at ourselves. Kevin did his Monty Python routines and I was conned into doing my now infamous "Geri-Curl" routine (DON"T ASK!!!). The kids played hide and seek and just enjoyed being out in the cool, crisp air. The pyros all threw leaves and smaller sticks in the fire. It was a good time. Isn't it amazing that some of the simplest things in life are often the best?

I'm thinking we need to do these kinds of "old-fashioned" things more often. Just being with friends can make even the most ordinary event extraordinary!

Thank you Lord for Autumn. Thank you for great friends and simple things. Thank you for memories that will last forever. Amen.

OUCH!

2004-10-18T09:10:00.000-05:00

Don't you just hate it when your toes get stepped on? You're sitting there innocently enough at a retreat enjoying good food and hanging out with the guys... and then all of the sudden the Spirit targets your heart and...

WHAMO! BAMO! BAFFO! OUCH! Those are my toes you're stepping on! That's my heart you just pierced! That's my ego you just wounded! That's my secret you just exposed to the world!

This weekend I attended a men's retreat with my church and my toes got stepped on... make that stomped on. The theme of the retreat was "The Warrior Within" and it dealt with the idea of what it means to be "a real man" in the eyes of Christ versus the world. We dealt with a number of men's issues, but there was a section in particular that really resonated with me and pierced my heart. It dealt with how I am choosing to either heal or anesthetize my "battle wounds"... and how those choices are impacting my relationships- in particular with my wife and children.

The statement was made that God has given us the woman in our life and as Christian men we are called to pursue her, fight for her and delight in her. The deep cry at the core of the heart of every little girls is "Am I Lovely? Will you love me... will you pursue me... will you delight in me... will you fight for me?" The statement was also made that we will make our wives more "beautiful" by how we treat them... am I treating my wife "beautifully" like the jewel that she is.

And that's where my toes got stomped... because I come up short there. The truth is I have not been treating my wife like the beautiful jewel she is. I have not pursued her, fought for her and delighted in her. Nor have I been relating correctly with my children. God has given me the opportunity to show them unconditional love and to give them a "wound-free" upbringing. I do not want to squander that opportunity for bestowing blessing on my children.

Thank you Lord for piercing my heart. Thank you for the beautiful jewel you have given to me for life. Restore our relationship and allow it to glorify you. Amen.

Being Used

2004-10-07T14:04:00.000-05:00

Normally, being used is not a good thing. We've all been there before... you think things are one way, only to find out they're a completely different way and that somehow in the process, without you knowing it, you've been used. The other person benefitted, you at the least feel stupid-- at the worst look bad and maybe even feel bad. It's not a good feeling.

However, there is actually a good way of being used. I'm thinking specifically about being used by God. And unlike the above situation, I'm talking about being used both willingly and knowingly. With purpose, we can allow God to use us to accomplish his purposes in our lives, the lives of others and in His kingdom.

I've been struggling mightily with so many of the great challenges put on us at the recent Zoe Conference-- and from my reading of everyone else's blogs, its a universal struggle. The only sense I can make of it all is this: I have got to surrender myself and all my inadequacies to Him and allow Him to use me to accomplish all of these challenges. On my own, I can't even begin to think about taking on these challenges. But, with me and my pride and insufficiencies out of the way, I am confident God can do it through me-- even in spite of me.

And I think there's a lot of peace in that acknowledgment. Now granted, there's a whole other struggle in truly surrendering myself and getting out of God's way. But I'm working on it.

How about you?

Thank you Lord for your sovereignty. I empy myself for your purpose. Use me. Amen.

Back to Earth

2004-10-06T08:10:00.000-05:00

Oh yes, back to the real world. It's ordinary, but nice.

One hundred and sixty-five e-mails were waiting for me when I logged back into life Monday morning. There were also two voice mails (not bad) and about a ten inch stack of mail. Oh well, it was worth it to be at Zoe.

My son had his next-to-the-last soccer game Monday night-- they won-- and my daughter's soccer season officially ended last night-- they lost. Of course we had to go to Panera Bread Company to celebrate and then to Dairy Queen (Reese's Blizzards). I often wonder what I'm doing right to be raising kids who actually pick Panera as their favorite restaurant!!!! My wife and I get private time to talk over our lattes and the kids play checkers or read in front of the fireplace... Thank you Lord!

Work is going OK... of course there is always a few bumps and unexpected turns, but that's why I say running an ad agency is like running a circus (I guess that makes me the ring master). Nothing really very new there, just business as usual-- which in most cases is a blessing!

Tonight at church we'll continue our Children's Musical rehearsals-- only eight short weeks left (YIKES!). The kids are so sweet and are really working hard. Tonight we will post the results of the auditions for solos and speaking parts. Hopefully there won't be any hurt feelings or disapointed tears.

Autumn is definitely here... we had to turn our heater on the moment we arrived home from Nashville. We actually had a fire (it's a gas log, so you can just turn it on and off) in the dining room fireplace while we ate dinner Monday night. The leaves are turning and my hostas are all dying. The circle of life continues.

So, all in all, the return to normal life has been OK. I've been trying hard to hold on to the major principals we learned at Zoe and to make them part of normal life. That's really the bottom line isn't it?

Father, thank you for mountain top experiences like the Zoe Conference. Help us to take those experiences and to integrate them into our normal every day lives. Father, we know you are that close every day. Your love is that real every day. Your grace is that amazing every day. Thank you for loving me and being present with me every day. Amen

Abundance

2004-10-04T08:35:00.000-05:00

Well, I've just returned from the Zoe Conference and I feel a little like a glutton! I've often described the conference to people who have never been before by comparing it to a gigantic dessert buffet (think cruise ship). You have to be careful and just take a small sample of each dessert-- because if you take a full piece of each and every one, you'll be too full to enjoy yourself when you're done.

Well, I'm full. Maybe too full! Hopefully I'll be able to digest it all at some point in time... but right now I'm still licking the left-over whip cream from my lips and brushing off the crumbs from the corners of my mouth!

God is so rich isn't He? And when we seek Him so patiently and constantly like we did this weekend... it's almost more than we can handle. Almost.

I loved everything about the conference... It was great to finally meet some of my fellow bloggers (especially DG, TL and Clarissa). It's always good to get a hug from Brandon. And who can't be immediately transported to heaven when they hear Sheryl sing "Wayfaring Stranger"? I always treasure my time with Miss Judy Thomas, she is so wise, kind, gentle and caring. And this year, I was able to experience the conference with my new church family and with my Mom and Dad. Wow!

But the ultimate transforming experience came for me when I participated in the "Post Modern" worship experience on Saturday afternoon. It was truly amazing and life changing!

The setting was quite unusual... the room was dark, lit only by the many candelabras throughout the room. The music and the candles made the experience so warm and rich. The theme of the short message, shared accompanied by a beautifully soulful violin, was on the abundance of God's love for us. How God has called us to an abundant life and how He has so much to give to us, if we'll only open ourselves up to receiving it. Then, and this is the awesome part, we were invited to share in the FEAST that God had provided for us so abundantly. During the playing of this wonderful song, we were all invited to come up and receive from God's abundance-- it was a communion service. When I walked up to receive the bread, I was expecting to break off my typical pinch-- so I was surprised to see the gigantic loaf of bread from which a very large piece was torn from and then handed to me. I was experiencing-- with all my senses-- the true abundance of Christ. I wept uncontrollably-- part in celebration, part in mourning-- realizing that my view of Christ had been limited by my "crumb and sip" communion mentality. WOW! Then, they handed us these huge bottles of grape juice-- here drink until your full!! It was an amazing experience! Life-changing! And one that I will never forget.

Lord, thank you for your abundant love for me. Thank you for being a God of abundance--- in love, grace, mercy, peace. Continue to transform me. Take hold of my life. Amen.

Looking to the Hills

2004-09-29T16:58:00.000-05:00

I'm outta here, heading to the hills of Tennessee for the annual Zoe "Look to the HIlls" Conference. I'm so excited! I look forward to this all year... I pray about it constantly!

I know many of you bloggers will be there, too. Can't wait to meet you! If you're not able to go this year, please pray for all of us. And, start planning to go with us next year!

I'll write all about it next week....

Blessings to you all!

Lord, thank you for Zoe and for the refreshing that it brings! Bless this conference and all the hearts that will be there. Send your Spirit in a new and fresh way! Amen.

Countdown to Zoe

2004-09-28T08:01:00.000-05:00

It's almost time for the annual Zoe Look to the Hills conference... just one more day until we leave. I'm so excited about Zoe this year for a number of reasons.

While this will be my wife and I's fifth conference, it will be our FIRST EVER time to attend with our church group. After 10 years of trying to effect change at our church, we finally have found a new church home! At our new church we are both on the praise team and it has been such a wonderful blessing! We are so excited about going this year as part of a group!

Another reason I'm exceptionally excited about this year is that my Mom and Dad will be attending for the first time. My father was recently named an elder at his home congregation in Alabama, and they are cautiously exploring the Zoe conference. They have had people at the conference before and they've really enjoyed it. I'm so excited to share this wonderfully rich worship experience with my Mom and Dad-- they are the planters of the word in my heart.

The third and final reason I'm so excited about this year is that my wife will be joining me for the WHOLE program! In year's past, she has attended mainly the key-note speakers and worship times, but has not been able to attend all of the sessions. This year, we have enrolled our children in the Zoe Kids program, so she will be FREE to be there with me through the whole thing.

I don't know if I can wait until Thursday... I'm just bubbling over with excitement and anticipation!

Please keep my group, my parents, and my wife and I in your prayers as we all travel and as we experience this awesome conference. My prayer is that God will work through each of us and will create stronger, braver, and more encouraged hearts for his service back in Illinois.

Father, thank you for the ministry of Zoe. Please be with Brandon, the Zoe Group singers, all of the conference planners, speakers and volunteers. Grant safe travel to all who come. Bless us all with tender and open hearts. Re-new my spirit. Bless my time with my Mom and Dad. Bless my experience with my group. Use this weekend to strengthen my relationship with my wife. Amen.

Learning to Trust

2004-09-27T07:59:00.000-05:00

Why is it so hard to truly trust in the Lord?

He is my creator. He knows every hair on my head. He sent His son to die for me. He's prepared a mansion for me. He loves me. He forgives me. He knows my name. He wants me for eternity.

He obviously is trustworthy. He obviously has my best interest at heart.

But yet, somewhere in the back of my mind this little shred of doubt creeps in...
What if He doesn't work this situation out the way I want Him to? What if I'm supposed to be doing something different in this situation? What if I just can't sense His direction? What if I get in the way of His will for me? What if I haven't prayed enough?

And then I remember... "Be still and know that I am God."

Thank you Lord for your love and your leadership in my life. Help me to learn to surrender in every way to your will for my life. Thank you for being my rock. Help me to love others the way you love me. Help me to forgive the way you forgive me. Amen.

Autumn

2004-09-23T07:36:00.002-05:00

Autumn---I even love the word (please... don't call it the "f" word).

As I look out the windows across the back of my house, I see the woods waiting. They know that yesterday at noon it officially became Autumn, although they are holding on to that last bit of summer green. The trees along the riverbanks, the ones I see out my office window, gave up weeks ago. Perhaps they were as excited about the coming of Autumn as I was.

If I could make it so, I would have 360 days of Autumn... I'd allow the other three seasons to argue over the remaining five days. To me, the world is just at its best during this season. A sort of "golden hour" glow is cast across everything. A candle light dinner for all of nature.

Leaves in every hue of yellow, orange, red, and purple. Mums, apples, cider, hay rides, hot chocolate. We all break out our favorite sweaters or turtle necks. Pumpkins and other gourds take their proud places on our porches. Even high school football games seem more appealing in Autumn.

It's a time to take the longer route home. The back roads, for three or four weeks anyway, are the preferred path. For once, slowing down is worthwhile. Under the glowing canopy of color I delight in my God's creativity.

Thank you Lord for the seasons... especially Autumn. I delight in your creativity and marvel at your sense of color. Thank you for setting my heart so free in this season. Thank you for loving me in all seasons. Amen.

Lost in Worship

2004-09-21T07:27:00.000-05:00

I was in Texas this weekend visiting with family. We had a wonderful time and I really enjoyed having tickle fights and playing Star Wars with my nephews. Man, am I out of shape!

The highlight of my trip came on Sunday when I was able to worship at Oak Hills. I don't know if it was because I was there all by myself, or if the spirit was just really evident that day, but I spent the entire worship weeping. From the very first song, I was just so touched and moved. Every word of every song, and every word of every prayer, and every word of every comment seemed to be just for me. Songs I had sang hundreds of times before were brand new with new meaning. It was incredible. I found myself lost in worship.

Is this what worship is supposed to be like all the time?

Then came time for Max's sermon. He must have gotten advance notice that I was coming that Sunday, because his sermon was all about me!! I'm not kidding... the very big struggle in my life that I was experiencing at that moment and that weekend, was the topic of his sermon. He has such an incredible gift to make scripture seem so simple and practical. It was amazing!

Thank you Lord for Oak HIlls. Thank you for their boldness. Thank you for your Spirit which moved me so mightily Sunday. May I be lost in worship every moment of every day! Amen.

Ivan, Florida and Jonah

2004-09-14T11:34:00.000-05:00

If I lived in Florida right now-- which I don't, but I used to-- I would probably be waiving my arms and hollering for everyone to throw me off the ship.

"It's all my fault! I'm the guilty one! God's punishing me! Throw me over the state line into Alabama and all these hurricanes will go away!"

Hey, it worked for Jonah, right? The minute they threw him overboard the storms stopped.

But it doesn't really work like that. First of all, God is not looking for ways to punish us. No, He's looking for ways to draw us closer to HIm so that He can share his love for us. Second of all, I don't need to feel guilty for my sin, He's created a way to get rid of it all so that neither He nor I have to see it-- through the blood of his son, Jesus Christ.

I'm so glad I don't have to take the burden of the world on my shoulders-- and certainly know that I am not to blame for Ivan!

How about you? Been blaming yourself for anything lately?

Thank you Lord for your mercy and your grace! Thank you for your son's love and sacrifice and for his blood which washes me clean continuously! Amen.

Weekends

2004-09-10T11:49:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been an incredibly long week-- interesting statement since this has actually been a short week, with Monday being a holiday. Nevertheless, it's been a long week.

Some really great things happened this week for which I am extremely grateful:
- We spent a very memorable Labor Day with our friends, creating memories for a life time.
- I got to take my daughter to school twice! (That father/daughter time is wonderful, but becoming more rare)
- We started our Children's Christmas musical for our church-- a lifetime first for our family!
- I've drawn closer to several of my Christian brothers.
- My business was recognized for it's excellence and contribution in a very public and high profile way.

However, I'm really looking forward to this weekend. Hopefully, it will be a quiet and simple weekend spent reconnecting with my family and indulging in some much needed rest.

I love that our God-- the creator of the universe-- is also the giver of rest and realizes the importance of quiet time and meditation. I intend to be God-like this weekend and rest, just like He did.

How about you?

Friends

2004-09-07T13:37:00.000-05:00

God provides for us in many ways. After this long Labor Day weekend, I am especially mindful of how God has provided for me and my family with a wonderful circle of Christian friends. People who I know love me unconditionally and would do anything for me. What a blessing!

Our very close group of friends spent the entire weekend together-- brought together around a family who recently moved away and who came "home" for the long weekend. Our families ate almost every meal together and spent nearly every waking hour laughing, crying, sharing stories, reminiscing, fishing, shopping, praying, and praising. I have never seen so much home made ice cream in my life!

Friendship, true friendship, is a very precious commodity. Friendships based upon a commonality of Christ-centeredness are even more rare and precious. I count my friends as one of my most lavish blessings from God.

Our friends who moved away need lots of love, prayers and support. The husband is without a job right now (the reason for the move) and they are struggling with the adjustments that go along with that. I have watched how our group has responded to their needs (like brining them home for the weekend and paying for everything for them) and I have this measure of peace knowing they would do the exact same thing for me.

Thank you God for providing me with such wonderful friends. Help me to never take their love and caring for granted. Help me to be as good a friend to them as they have been for me. Help us to reach out to those out there who do not have this same blessing and to touch them with the over-abundance of love we have. Amen.

One Life at a Time

2004-09-03T09:32:00.000-05:00

My Dad called me this morning with a new chapter to an amazing story of how God is working through him to minister to a young man's life-- it's a wonderful and powerful reminder of how God works in all our lives in such amazing ways-- if we will allow Him to.

My Dad, who retired from teaching middle school history and coaching 7th & 8th grade basketball last year, has a particularly soft spot in his heart for Billy. This past June, Billy graduated from high school and my father was there to cheer him on. You see, Billy was one of my dad's students and players in 7th and 8th grade and both his life and my dad's have never been the same since. It all started when my dad and mom bought Billy his first pair of basketball shoes, something his single-parent mom could never afford to do. Billy was forever indebted to my dad, and my dad's heart was forever captivated by Billy.

Since those first pair of new shoes, my dad and Billy have gone through many experiences together. When Billy's house burnt to the ground, my mom and dad were there to take Billy, his younger sister and mom shopping to buy new clothes and household items. My parents church donated money and even bought clothing and toys for the family as well. When Billy began to struggle academically, my father devoted several hours each week to tutoring him so that he could stay academically eligible for his sports activities. Every year when Billy started a new school year, my dad was there to make sure Billy had new clothes and school supplies. There were many incidences when Billy's mom would show up at my parent's house needing grocery money or her electric bill to be paid-- my parents always found a way to help, even when there were times it meant they did without.

At the end of his high school career, Billy began to distance himself from my dad... and at times even seemed ungrateful for his help and sacrifice. But my father did not waiver in his support. For graduation, my dad bought Billy an X-Box game system and was at the ceremony to see him walk across the stage to receive the diploma he had spent so many hours helping him attain.

Unfortunately, Billy had made some poor decisions in his senior year and his grades were not what they should have been. Much to my dad's disappointment, Billy gave up his dreams of going to college and took a job at a local pizza parlor and spent the summer running with the wrong crowd. When I visited my parents this summer my dad was resigned to the fact that his relationship with Billy was over and his hopes and dreams of Billy going to college were abandoned. I don't know that I've ever seen my dad so wounded and deflated.

Well, God had a different plan that Billy, my dad nor anyone else knew about or could see.

Last Thursday, a small, private college called and offered Billy a spot on their football team and a full scholarship-- with one catch-- Billy had to accept their offer on the spot and be at the school to register (the school had actually started that Wednesday, so he was a week late) for classes Monday morning. Billy called my dad (whom he still calls "Coach") and asked if he could pick him up and drive him to college-- the school is 6 hours away. You can imagine my dad's elation.

When my parents picked Billy up Saturday to leave for college, he had basically nothing-- a small bag with a few clothes. Once again, my parents' church family came to the rescue and gave them money to take Billy shopping for new clothes and all the things a college freshman needs to live away from home.

Of course Billy had never been more than 40 miles away from home, so when he left, his Mom and sister were quite distraught. And Billy was in for the adventure of his life... he's never seen snow, never experienced fall and never seen mountains... he's never been away from home let alone lived away from home.

My dad called to ask me to keep Billy in my prayers and to send him a card of encouragement. He also asked that I send him $5 dollars a month (he's asked four others to do the same) so that he will always have a little spending money and a feeling of home while he's away. If for no other reason than to honor my father, I will gladly accept the small task of encouraging Billy.

What a wonderful story of how God can use us for His purposes, one life at a time! I wonder how many "Billys" there are out there? And I'm convicted of how much God can do with ten minutes of my time and $5 dollars of my money.

Lord, bless Billy with an amazing first year of college! Thank you for the awesome witness and servant heart of my father. Continue to put "Billys" into his life and into mine. Continue to use us to reach this world one life at a time! Amen.

WARNING!

2004-08-26T07:30:00.000-05:00

One of the neatest features in my wife's new SUV is the back-up warning system. This is truly a slick feature... and since the vehicle is the size of a small bus, it's really a necessary feature (not sure we need the "bun warmers" in the rear seats, but I know we need the back-up warning system-- as the rear bumper of our mini-van will attest.). Here's how it works: There is a series of five sensors or electronic "eyes" in the rear bumper. If the sensor detect an object behind you while you are backing up the system will sound a tone and a yellow light will appear. As you get closer to the object the tone grows louder and more frequent, and a second yellow light appears. At the absolute "you must stop backing up point" the tone grows much louder and frequent and a red light appears. If we hit something with all of those warnings... well I guess we're just beyond help!

That got me to thinking about my own life. How wonderful that God has equipped each of us with a similar warning system! He provides us with His word, equips us with His indwelling Spirit, surrounds us with our church family, and if you're really blessed, a close group of friends who will hold you accountable. Even with such a sophisticated system, we occasionally ignore it and have a bump or two. But here's the awesome part-- unlike the SUV, if I "hit something" God will make everything brand new again! Wow! Now that's a feature to brag about!!!

Thank you Lord for your ways! Thank you for your word, your church, and your grace. Amen.

Changes

2004-08-25T08:11:00.000-05:00

Well, I've been completely distracted from the "real world" for the past few days caught in the new car vortex... have you ever been sucked into that place? Oh my it can be scary! It's amazing how confused and emotionally distraught you can get just shopping for a new car! But we survived and have a new car-- actually it isn't new, and it's not a car-- it's an '03 Cadillac Escalade. (However, it does SMELL new, and I guess that's really important?!)

I know what you're thinking-- I'm way too young and hip to be driving a Cadillac Escalade, right? Well, it's not mine it's my wife's... and she LOVES it! It was time for a change. We've had a mini-van for the last 12 years (since our daughter's birth) and we decided it was time for a change. So we've turned a page in our life journey and waved good-bye to Van-Land.

Speaking of changes, the kids started school this week... a welcomed change! My wife is throwing a party right now! The summer was wonderful, but I think everyone was ready for school to start this year. My "little" girl is now a big 7th grader and my son is now a confident 3rd grader.

It's been an interesting couple of days. We've had some emotional times and a few rough spots... but change is like that. However, I've always found that change brings about a refreshing newness to all of life and therefore is worth it.

I love how the Lord makes us new everyday, so that our spirit always has that "new car" smell no matter how old we really are!

Lord, thank you for change in our lives. I pray that you will bring about spiritual renewal for me and our family. Thank you for our life lessons in stewardship. Thank you for renewing us daily. Amen!

Surrender

2004-08-19T07:29:00.000-05:00

Why is it so hard to surrender? I'm thinking specifically about surrendering my life to the Lord, but really... surrendering in general is so difficult for me.

In our house church last night we spent the majority of our time talking about surrendering, the topic of Chapter 10 of The Purpose Driven Life. For most of the time I didn't say much-- highly unusual for me-- as I'm not really very good at this and didn't really have much to offer the group. I listened as various members of our group shared some of their struggles and expressed their views on a number of thoughts and statements made in the book.

I was re-skimming the summary of the chapter as I listened to the others share, and something really jumped out at me. There was a statement in the book that surrender is not a one time thing. It is something that may have to happen daily or hourly, or in my case, moment-by-moment. I found so much liberation in that statement... this isn't something I only get a one-time shot at, it's something I get a second chance at every moment of my life.

The chapter went on to encourage us to surrender every aspect of our lives to God-- our hopes, fears, past struggles, current struggles, etc. And that got me to really thinking... so this is what I wound up sharing with the group:

"OK... this may be either really dull or really deep... but what if we just surrender our struggle in surrendering to God and let Him help us through it."

The room was really quiet, but I think it got everyone thinking. Isn't that the whole point... we are to surrender EVERY aspect of our life to Him-- even the fact that we struggle with surrendering?

Father, I surrender my struggle with surrendering to you. I know that you alone can help me. Thank you for your mercy and your steadfast love. Refine me. Amen

Aspirations

2004-08-17T07:43:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, after a major over-dose of watching the Olympics non-stop for six hours, my eight year-old son announced that he was no longer going to be the next NBA super star-- He was headed for Olympic Gold as a swimmer!

He marched into the garage, dug his blow-up swimming pool out of the toy box, blew it up, filled it with water, and began his official Olympic training. I admire that kind of inspiration and determination! It's refreshing... and even inspirational!

I hope that he will keep that child-like enthusiasm and can-do attitude the rest of his life. I love that he didn't even stop to think about all the obstacles that might impede such aspirations-- like the fact that his pool is so small he can not even lay down flat in it, let alone swim in it. I love that he didn't form a committee to study the probable outcomes of such an endeavor, nor did he even make the proverbial list of pros and cons. Nope. He just dove in-- head first.

I'd like to be a little more like that in my life... and I wish others that I care about could be, too. How often has the Lord called us in ways that He needed to use us, only for us to over-analyze the opportunity to death? How many spiritual aspirations have we allowed to just die, because the pros and cons list didn't add up properly? How many committees (even committees of one) have killed our aspirations and others?

Lord, help us to become child-like about our aspirations and enthusiasm for you! Bless us with dreams that are big and hearts that are bigger! Amen.

Prayer

2004-08-13T13:01:00.000-05:00

We have such a powerful tool in the gift of prayer. Sometimes we take prayer for granted, don't we? How ridiculous!! We have a direct line to the Almighty... the Creator of the Universe, and we often fail to even use it.

Today, I'm very mindful of the power of prayer. My good friend Dwight, after lots of prayer, was awarded a much needed job! Praise the Lord!

I have been struggling with some issues in my own life that God has been so faithful to work through and has answered my prayers-- and He's done it in such fantastic ways, so beyond anything I had the creativity to even request of Him.

But today I am asking all of you in my blog community to pray for my sister. I'm concerned about her and her family because she lives in Sarasota, directly in the path of hurricane Charley. I ask that you will pray for her safety. But actually, I'd like to ask you to pray for something even more important... I'd like you to pray for her salvation. My sister has left her faith and turned her back on God. Please pray that He will watch over her through this storm... but also that He will guide her through the real storm in her life.

Thank you God for the gift of prayer. Forgive me for not spending more time with you in prayer. Please watch over my sister and her family. Guide her through this storm and bring her back to you. Amen.

Restored!

2004-08-11T08:26:00.000-05:00

Sorry to be so down yesterday... not exactly sure what happened. OK, I know exactly what happened... I allowed Satan to fill my head with ridiculous thoughts that I don't really matter, my life is insignificant and no one loves me. Of course I KNOW that's not true, but sometimes I have a hard time not listening to that and not allowing those false ideas to impact how I FEEL.

But, today is today... I feel so restored! God is so faithful and His voice is louder, bigger and RIGHT! I can't even begin to tell you all the different ways God spoke to me and ministered to my hurts. He used many of my good friends and certainly this Blog community. He used the ministry of music and song. He used my wife and children and their love expressions for me. And He used His word. Consider these passages:
"Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life." Romans 8:6 (Message)
"You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you." Isa. 26:3 (TEV)
"God decided to give us life through the word of truth so we might be the most important of all the things he made." James 1:18 (NCV)

Thank you oh Lord, for your goodness and faithfulness. Thank you for your unfailing love. Thank you for restoring me from yesterday. Thank you for those you have put in my life. Amen.

Am I here?

2004-08-10T08:29:00.000-05:00

Lately-- especially yesterday and this morning-- I have felt estranged from the world. After a wonderful weekend of feeling very alive and very present, spending lots of time with my family, and being surrounded by friends, I suddenly feel so out of touch. Almost as if life is happening around me, in spite of me-- indifferent to me. Am I the only one who ever feels this way?

I had yet another committee meeting last night for the volunteer Board of Directors (one of several) I serve on for a local arts organization and didn't make it home until after 9 p.m. When I got home my family was at a neighbor's house playing. I was lonely and tired, and hopped in bed. "Did Monday even happen?" I asked myself.

What a rapid fall from my mountain top high on Sunday. I don't like being moody... and I certainly don't like being told I'm moody. But I do have to admit that I identify with David and many of his Psalms of lament. I don't want to feel this way. I want to feel alive and present. I want to feel safe in the arms of my God. I want to feel loved and needed. I need my Father and I am realizing all the more... I really need my brothers and sisters.

Father, draw me close to you. Don't be far from me! Even though I have pushed you away, rescue me and draw me near. Remind me of your love. Call me by my new name! Restore me!

"Standing here in silence, I wait for you to speak,
For your whisper heals me with one word.
Restore me!
I would have no way but yours my Lord,
Restore me!
Like the eagle spreads its wings and soars,
I will lift my faithless heart to a God who's love is pure.
Resting in your arms I am secure!
Restore me!"

The Church

2004-08-09T10:01:00.000-05:00

Not the place, the people... God's family... The body.

I am so grateful, especially this week, for my church family. It's just amazing how God has used this past week to show me what a wonderful family He has put in place for me over the past few years. A family who meets my needs, loves me and accepts me just as I am. Also, a family who needs me... which actually might be my greatest need of all-- to be needed.

This past week in my efforts to be more intentional (see my recent "Good Intentions" post) with my compassion and service I have learned the blessing of those God has put in my life-- some old, some new-- some nearby, others farther away. My own bouquet of friends hand-picked by God. Isn't that an incredible thought? God cares enough about me and my needs that he has called out a group of individuals specifically and uniquely for me. It's almost embarrassing, but mostly it's comforting.

I am so thankful for these brothers and sisters. And as I see how they love me and minister to me I am all the more motivated to love and serve them.

Father, thank you for your church. Thank you for placing such wonderful people in my life. Help me to love and treasure them all the more. Thank you for the encouragement they are to me. Help me to become more of an encouragement to them. Amen.

Good Intentions

2004-08-05T07:54:00.000-05:00

This Sunday our minister challenged us regarding our "one another skills." It was a wonderful and much needed topic for me. The part that especially hit home for me was his challenge for us to move beyond well intentioned compassion to acted upon and expressed compassion. In other words, to do more than just think about people. To act in their lives!

I've been taking the challenge on this week and it has been such an incredible blessing! I thought this was all about me becoming more disciplined and service-oriented-- but it seems I'm the one reaping all the benefits! I haven't felt this good in years! It makes me wonder why I have been holding back all this time-- living in the land of theoretical compassion!

I've learned that when we do hold back we not only short the people whom we could be blessing, but even ourselves! Of course when we hold back we are also not allowing God to do His work through us!

So, go ahead and take the challenge... buy the card, sign the card and MAIL the card! Make the prayer list and then PRAY over the prayer list! Call that friend-- introduce yourself to that shy person in the corner--bake cookies and then share them with someone who needs a baked hug!

I promise (and so does God) you will be blessed exponentially beyond any blessing you can give!

Thank you Lord for your love and compassion. Thank you for giving me a heart for compassion... and now hands, feet and a voice as well! Thank you for Larry and his wisdom and ability to deliver your message to me. Amen

The worst place to be driving

2004-08-03T08:28:00.000-05:00

I have found it... The worst place in the world to be driving. I figured it would be in NYC during rush hour, or trying to get out of that make-shift parking lot at a Cubs game, or maybe a country two-lane road in a Central Illinois blizzard. But much to my surprise, it was none of those places. In fact, what I learned was that it wasn't really a place at all.

No, the worst place to be driving is not really a location or a situation, or even a combination of the two. It's about whom or what you are driving behind. In my case yesterday, it was behind a truck precariously loaded with several port-o-potties! I've never felt so trapped in all my life! The five seconds I was stuck behind that truck and unable to move into the adjacent lane felt like an eternity of panic. Can you imagine a rear-end collision with that truck? Or what if the driver hit a bump or suddenly jerked causing his precious cargo to tip backward! Oh my!

Well, it got me thinking about how many times I have found my self "stuck" behind a person or situation in my life that was far more precarious or toxic than that truck. You know, that friend who is a negative influence, or that movie, book or web site that is polluting your mind. Well, I hope that from now on that truck will be a reminder and motivator for me that next time I find myself in one of those potentially compromising positions, I will put on my life's blinker and quickly move into the clear lane-- as fast as possible.

Father, thank you for teaching me through traffic! Thanks for always providing that clear lane that I can move over into. Help me to be more self-aware and act more swiftly when I am tempted. Thank you for your grace. Amen.

Fast Forward

2004-07-30T10:03:00.000-05:00

Someone, without my expressed written consent or authorization, has put my life on fast forward. Tonight, my sweet little girl will celebrate her 12th Birthday with seven pre-teen and teen girls in a festive Luau/Sleep-over.

How did this happen? I distinctively remember the pregnancy and the birth-- and even the first few birthdays and her first day at Kindergarten. But how did we get here so fast? Seventh grade... telephone... lip gloss... boys (definitely not ready for that one!)... locked diaries... oh my!

Actually, she is the sweetest, kindest, tender-hearted and spiritual 12 year-old I know. She constantly amazes me with the most beautiful and heart-felt prayers. I have learned many lessons from my wonderful daughter and I love her dearly.

I just wish we could slow things down-- I don't want to be on slow motion, and definitely not reverse.

I also remember being told when we brought her home from the hospital to treasure every moment, "because the time flies and they grow up before you know it." Well, I guess now I know it.

Father, thank you for my precious Madison. Thank you for her sweet spirit. Continue to bless her and work in her life. Continue to help me be the Godly father she needs and I want to be. Amen

Following the Rules

2004-07-29T09:54:00.000-05:00

I don't know why it is so hard for us to follow rules, but it is.

The other day, I was at a Boy Scout "badge-earning" outing for my eight-year old son. The purpose of the event was for the boys to earn their badge for bicycle safety. We have a really neat facility here called "Bicycle Safety Town" that features a series of streets, bridges, hills and traffic lights. Before the boys were allowed to mount their bikes they had to participate in a safety review course and pass a safety inspection of their bike. To earn their badge they simply had to ride their bike SAFELY for 30 minutes carefully observing all traffic signs and lanes. It sounded simple enough.

With 10 minutes our "traffic cops" were pulling boys over right and left-- and some were even having to sit out for discipline purposes. Within another 10 minutes we had a "hit and run" accident-- another boy ran a red light and plowed "head-on" into my son leaving him and his bike a wreck! The parents were concerned that our children were struggling so hard with following the rules for just 30 short minutes.

I began thinking about my own life and my wobbly walk with God. I wondered if God doesn't sometimes feel like we parents did-- "you just finished reading my word... now look at how your acting!" I guess it's a really good thing that our God saw this fault in us and loved us anyway! In fact, enough that he gave us his son to take our place!

Father, thank you for your forgiving spirit. Help me to be more forgiving of others. Thank you for loving me even when I don't follow your simple rules. Thank you for you Son's sacrifice for me. Help me to be more mindful of your will for my life. Amen

Quiet Closeness

2004-07-28T10:23:00.000-05:00

Last night, after an unusually long and hard day at the office, I came home to a wonderful evening of quiet intimacy with my wife. We sat together on our back deck overlooking the woods by candlelight and listening to the chorus of tree frogs, crickets and owls. I love the fact that we can sit together in silence and just enjoy being in each other's presence. It's a special kind of closeness when you can have intimacy without talking or even touching. When it's enough to just be in each other's presence.

Thank you Father for giving me a mate who understands me and believes in me the way Deanie does. Thank you for quiet nights of closeness. Thank you for midnight serenades by your creation. Amen

Time Off

2004-07-26T12:56:00.000-05:00

It's always good to have a little time off-- to find a place where you can escape the daily grind and all the troubles that can cloud your thinking and overtake your perspective on life.

This past week my family and I took some time off and went "home" to Flordia to be with my Mom and Dad. It was great to be home again-- especially to eat (read over-indulge) my mother's fantastic cooking and spend time reconnecting with my parents. We had a wonderfully relaxing time swinging on the old porch swing and talking about the good old days (I didn't realize I was old enough to do that yet!).

While we were there it was extremely hot and I was able to take my children to my favoirte places I went as a child to cool off-- four very different places to swim. It was delightful to watch my kids expressions as they stuck their toes into the ice-cold spring waters of "Blue Springs" and to hear them squeal with delight as they dropped off the rope swing into the crystal clear "Spring Creek." Of course my favorite place- both then and now- is the beach. I love how calming and constant the beach is--it reminds me of God and his eternal faithfulness to us. Even in just a one day trip to the beach I can get mentally "lost"-- and this time any remaining cares or troubles were carried away with the current.

On the long drive home I was overcome with a feeling of satisfaction and contentment. My beautiful wife sleeping in the seat next to me, and my two adorable children quitely snoozing away in the back of the van-- I have so much to be thankful for. Why do I get so busy and caught up in pursuing things that don't matter?

Thank you Lord for time off. Thank you for the fresh perspectives you have blessed me with this week. Thank you for loving, God-serving parents. Thank you for showing me that I already have everything I need in life with my wonderful wife and adoring children. Amen.

The Gateway

2004-07-16T12:00:00.000-05:00

Home

2004-07-15T11:42:00.000-05:00

It's amazing how the Lord works in our lives-- especially when He thinks we need to understand something more clearly.

Over the last couple of weeks my wife and I have been considering buying a new home. It all started innocently enough as an effort to lower our monthly payments by refinancing our current mortgage and taking advantage of lower interest rate. How quickly that turned into meeting with a Realtor to look at larger more expensive houses! Each night as we took our evening walk or laid in bed we discussed the pros and cons of each of the potential new houses versus our current house, and what the entire process would entail. For some reason (I think I understand exactly why now) none of the houses seemed to be right for us. Too big, too small, too much remodeling, too much price.

Enter God. Sunday morning our worship is centered around the theme of "This world is not my home" focusing on the temperal nature of earth and eternal nature of heaven. I begin to feel a little nervous during the sermon... and wonder how our minister has been eaves dropping into my and my wife's private conversations.

Then as the week continues, I start doing my reading from "Purpose Driven Life" for our Wednesday night house church. The topic of the reading just happens to be "Life is temporary"-- don't get hung up on possessions... you're a stanger merely passing through. I now begin to feel a conspiracy brewing between my minister and the author!

Then the clencher (God sure is patient with me!) comes last night in our house church as we discussed our reading. One of our sisters breaks into tears and shares a beuatiful, spirit-filled testimony of how God has challenged her to rid herself of her "Walmart" addiction and surrender herself to God and His sufficiency. She tells us that God has asked her (and He has certainly asked all of us) to choose between her endless and unfilling pursuit of acquiring things or Him.

Needless to say, I'll be calling the Realtor today to let her know we aren't interested in looking at any more houses. We already have a home. And we'll be in our mansion soon enough.

Father, thank you for Spirit. Thank you for reaching me even when it takes three times. Thank you for Stephanie and her testimony. Thank you for providing me with a wonderful earthly home and a home in heaven that will blow my mind. Thank you for your love and sufficiency.

Dreaming Bigger

2004-07-14T12:09:00.000-05:00

I'm a dreamer... always have been. When I was a child, I used to dream that I would be famous. It didn't really matter in what way I would be famous-- Broadway star, business magnet-- just that I'd be famous one day. As I got older, I dreamed of my advertising career catapulting me to fame and fortune-- you know, right up there with the guy who created "Where's the Beef" or "I can't believe I ate the whole thing."

It has only been much more recently that I've had the heart to use my dreaming talents for God. This week I've been struck with awe at how God has been working in my life to fulfill my dreams-- in particular three dreams. Interestingly, the three dreams are all inter-related to each other, and all three dreams began about five years ago (a number I think God likes).

The first dream is that God would use my musical talents and my passion for worship renewal-- in particular that I'd be able to be a worship leader and sing with a praise team. However, for the past five years, I've been "stuck" in a church situation where these talents and passions were about as useful as a prophetess or organist with a drinking problem! But God has been faithful and has delivered me and my family (and a close circle of friends)... leading us to a new church family that has embraced my talents and passions with fervor! My wife and I are now helping plan worship and are singing with the praise team! PRAISE THE LORD FOR BELIEVING IN ME AND MY DREAM!

The second dream is that my close group of friends would be able to experience the spiritual challenge and bliss of attending and participating in the annual Zoe "Look to the Hills" Conference. My wife and I have faithfully attended these conferences for the past five years and they have filled a huge void in our spiritual experience (It has always amazed me how God could use three days to fill us for an entire year!). However, we have never been sucessful and getting any of our friends to come experience this with us. Again, God has been faithfull and provided an answer to this dream in the form of the Zoe Conference this weekend in St. Louis. Just 2 hours from our home in Central Illinois, whatever barriers previously prevented our friends from attending have been removed and all eight of them are coming to the conference this weekend! PRAISE THE LORD FOR THE ZOE CONFERENCE IN ST. LOUIS!

The third dream is that I would not have to attend the annual Zoe "Look to the Hills" Conference alone-- that one day I'd be able to come, like most everyone else, as part of my church group. For five years I have sat alone (not feeling sorry for myself, just the way it has been) and watched the joy others have shared by experiencing this wonderfully transforming weekend surrounding by their church family. It has been a very heavy burden to bear and has moved me to tears every year. But again, God has been faithful and provided an answer to my dream. This year I registered for the conference as part of my new church family-- and our entire praise team will be coming together! PRAISE THE LORD FOR MY NEW NORTHSIDE FAMILY, AND THEIR LOVE FOR WORSHIP, THE LORD AND ME!

As I bask in the warmth of knowing God has believed in me and my dreams I am challenged to dream bigger. To dream about what he can do through me instead of for me.

Thank you, Lord, for answering my prayers. For understanding the yearnings of my heart... and for providing for my dreams. Father, help me to dream bigger! Help me to always hunger for more of you and your Spirit! Fill me with desire for you and you alone.

A line of faces

2004-07-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

The line was long when I got there, snaking back and forth across the room. Typically long lines like this are reserved for riding roller coasters or madly spinning tea cups, but this particularly long line was not for anything exciting or entertaining. I was in line to renew the sticker for my liscense plate.

As I looked up and down the line trying to estimate how long I would be stuck here, I was struck by the downtrodden nature of those in line with me. Did only potbellied, ugly, poor, toothless, oddballs with seven children need renewal stickers in June? Then I thought to myself, "Well, you're here... how in the world did you get stuck in the same month with all of these people?"

I began making jokes to myself about some of the outfits that would never pass muster in my fashionable trendy advertising world. Then I moved on to hairstyles, or lack thereof. Who are these people? Then I aksed myself, almost audibly, "who are these people? Where do they come from? I never see people like this at work or church or even out to eat... Who are they?"

As I stood there smugly, quickly deciding I was by far the best lookiing of the entire group-- not a place of honor I'm used to holding-- the answer to my question came back in a voice that was not my own. "They are my people," I heard in my head. "They are the beautiful people I died for, the ones I am calling to give comfort and rest to... They are my people."

Wow... could it be? I was looking into the eyes of my Father's children. My Savior's brothers and sisters. My brothers and sisters. And all I was able to see was the physical! What has happened to me? Has my heart become so hard... my desire to share so faint that I can no longner recognize my Father's children?

Father, thank you for moments like these when you open my eyes to see what you always see. Forgive me Father when I have been smug and distant from your people. Continue to open my eyes and soften my heart. Use me for your purpose. Lord, today show me those I can serve and tell about your amazing love.

Amen.

Starting Out: My first blog

2004-07-01T10:39:00.000-05:00

Well here I go... I'm really not one to just start something new without first obsessing about it for months-- or years. But for some reason I feel drawn or lead to do this. I'm excited about it, actually. I don't really expect anyone else to care or read what I'm doing. I guess-- at least for now-- I'm really doing this for myself. And I don't mean that in a selfish way at all. My goal is to try to use this blog as an outlet to express some of the things I've been feeling and haven't had an appropriate outlet for doing so before. Mostly my sentiments, feelings and observations about my own spiritual journey... But I'm sure some of what I'll end up journaling about will be just everyday stuff.

I've been so blessed in reading several other blogs, principally Brandon Thomas' and Judy Thomas, his mother. While very different in style and content, both of them have such a wonderful way of expressing themselves and seeing God in almost every thing and situation. I love them both and admire their deep spirituality and individuality.

I'm amazed at how God uses everyone and everything for His glory. Even the web! Even me!

Thank you God for your love and compassion...thank you for your Son. Thank you for the gift of words and expression. I dedicate this blog to You, Lord. May my words bring honor to your name!

Amen.